YOU CUNTS!

Clipboard01dsder

$2839 Hong Kong dollars for a pair of brown shoes. There’s no other word for it…that’s obscene.

Two thousand, eight hundred and thirty nine Hong Kong dollars…for a single pair of plain brown, lace up shoes. I just about had to do a barrel roll to shake the horror of this grotesque obscenity from my senses. What do I look like here…J.D. Rockefeller? A mainlander?

What kind of bug-eyed rube would you have to be, to enter into a contract of purchase to spend $2839 on a pair of uninspiring, boring, brown sweat-shop loafers? Furthermore, what kind of absolute cunt would have the bald faced, cold blooded gall to charge almost $3000 Hong Kong dollars for shoes that probably cost 0.07c to manufacture?

“Clarks England”, that’s who. Or as I like to call them…“Cunts England”

Exif_JPEG_PICTURE

Step right up folks, step right up. ‘Cunts’ is the name and cunts is the game. The biggest cunts in the country. A name you can cunt on.

For 2839 credits, these plain brown lace up shoes would want to look pretty damn snazzy. Do they? Let’s check ’em out…

20170630_135122

…oh…you cunts

Pretty standard really…they’re…brown shoes. It does say “Gore Tex” on a special faux metal plaque…but that shit’s been around since 1969, so what’s the big deal there? They’re sensible I suppose…something your grandfather might favour. But even if he did favour them, I don’t think he’d spend half his life’s savings on them.  So, what’s the go Cunts England?? I’m baffled.

alldollar

Spot your currency: That’s a behemoth $362 US dollars…at $472 Canadian dollars it’s nearly half a gorilla and a straight up sucker punch to the kidney…in Australia it’s a $473 medicine ball to the face…it’s $6565 Mexican Pesos worth of state sanctioned torture, and it’s a $279 British pound headbutt to the bridge of the nose. Either way you slice it…whatever currency you look at, it amounts to nothing more than a kick in the face on a Saturday night with a steel-toe grip Kodiak work boot, and a trip to the hospital, bloodied and bashed, for reconstructive surgery.

Lucky for me, I was with my mother in law at the time and as soon as she saw the price she collapsed to the floor in sheer ecstasy, shaking her arms and legs and wailing like a banshee. When she passed out from over-exertion and delirium, and her heart stopped, I was forced to administer mouth to mouth. After about 30 minutes of that, and as soon as she could speak again, she told the shop assistant to ring up 45 pairs of shoes, and then got on the phone to organize the necessary mules and parallel trading experts (her friends and family) to get them across the border to Shenzhen and beyond.

a0604a

As soon as my mother in law saw the price of the shoes she hit the deck, overwhelmed by feelings of joy and consumption. She bought 45 pairs, the entire stock load, and let me have mine for $2835. It only took me an hour of haggling and in the end she offered me the ‘shelf’ pair because, she reasoned, a lot of people had probably touched them. She’s a really fantastic person.

11rdv-hongkong-art-tmagArticle

Some of my mother in law’s friends and relatives smuggle the shoes across the border, cleverly disguised in harmless boxes of noodles and milk powder products.

I guess I owe Cunts England an apology. Maybe they aren’t cunts preying on the provincial gullibility and cult of perceived status of cashed up rube mainlanders after all. Maybe they’re just good, old-fashioned, honest, hard-working cunts, bringing much welcome happiness to the lives of thousands of delirious consumers who have way more money than sense. It just depends on how you look at it. Anyway, what do I care? Anything that brings me closer to my mother in law is alright by me. And when I say closer…I mean…closer. Ooh lala. 😉

So…sorry Cunts!

I just don’t know how I’m going to explain to my wife that I spent $2835 dollars on a pair of shoes. Maybe she’s on the phone right now…to her mother…talking about me…talking about the shoes…oh…oh dear God I can picture her face now…

cxcxcxcxc

He what….?

dfdfhh

…for what…?

dedeed

…shoes…?

gtthyyh

…oh Dudley…you’re a dead man…

This post brought to you by…

gfgg (1)

Cunts England. At Cunts…we’ll cunt you good

Clipboard01ddddsss

My ex-wife has crabs

hqdefault

 

 

 

 

 

 

Advertisements
This entry was posted in Hong Kong. Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to YOU CUNTS!

  1. HK mall island says:

    The thing is, Clarks is cheap in the UK, just because it is foreign brand they are all ready to spend ten times the price on this. Bunch of fucking sheep. Same with M&S what a joke!

  2. Cat's Eye says:

    “…way more money than sense.” So, so true. No sense, no scruples, no morals, no values. Well, maybe values…they value money, money to buy more stuff.

    That reminds me. “All they want is the shiny stuff. That’s what your house is, a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get…more stuff!” George Carlin

    Mainlanders and Hong Kongers: You can’t take any of the shit you’re accumulating with you and it doesn’t make you a better person!! You can’t, you’re gonna die and all this stuff (shit) you thought was important goes in the trash or, if you’re lucky, to a relative who doesn’t care about your shit as much as you did.

  3. Anonymous says:

    Cat’s Eye, they truly believe they will benefit from their trash in the afterlife, it’s part of their pervert religious beliefs. Haven’t you ever seen those hidden Chinese shops selling paper models of cars, watches, bags, etc. for those unbelievable cretins to burn for their deceased relatives? “Wei wu wei” is the paradox of this sick society, or “action without action”. They will not take or assume responsibility for anything, frugality is deeply ingrained in their tradition and they thrive in their “wu wei” – naturalness and spontaneity of a mindless philosophy, Taoism.

  4. Anonymous says:

    But aren’t we all like that?

  5. Anonymous says:

    Yes and no… The Chinese are disproportionately oblivious about what happens around them, and disproportionately mindless about their own actions. Starting with their neighbours, then local community, then at district level, then countrywide and finally on an international level. We aren’t as oblivious and mindless on that sort of scale. We at least try to do a few things right; like for example, not to viciously fuck about with our neighbours, like irrational animals, on the scale described on this blog. People who behave like that are actually worse than irrational animals. The world is crumbling and turning into mayhem mostly because of terrible politicians and vile corporate strategies, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that everyone should feel morally justified to act in such gruesome, selfish and irrational way, like this wretched people do. Life is hard? Surviving the rat race? Etc.. so, “let’s just not give a fuck about anyone else, or better, let’s actually make everyone else’s lives unbearable and stuff our arses with all sorts of useless and overpriced shit..” to justify what exactly? I am definitely not like that and I know a lot of people in the West who are not like that. There are also stupid people in the West, but frankly nowhere near as shit as on this scale.

  6. Anonymous says:

    Anonymous, your post above this one is seriously powerful. In fact, one of the best I have read on this blog. My neighbours are making mine and my wife’s life a living hell so your words touched us. I would love to hear more from you. What exactly drives these sick people to act the way they do, hiding behind their fake culture?

  7. Anonymous says:

    Anon., it’s a bit more complex than just “hiding behind their fake culture”. Whether in Hong Kong with the British occupation (and their “benevolent” laissez faire dictatorship), or north of the border with the Cultural Revolution, both sides are converging into one end: the indiscriminate accumulation of wealth and projection of power. “Culture” in its real term has been lost for decades. I also believe that this cynical religion of theirs (Taoism) also plays a large part in their sick behaviour.

    But more into the mundane stuff, the Chinese in general have a ridiculous sense (not sense), complex of self-entitlement and an extremely confrontational attitude. A bipolar division of character which most attribute to mental disorders such as Asperger’s Syndrome, Psychopathy, etc. I am very cynical about this and personally won’t give them the benefit of being classified as mentally unstable. I believe they choose to be downright assholes because they’re cunning, and know exactly what they’re doing. They have been unhappy for decades, conflicting between their lost culture and their newly acquired “Western” culture of consumerism. Allied with the fact that they are notoriously racist and intolerant, opportunistic yet confrontational, with a complex of self-entitlement and a sense of ethics which is in line with one of Taoism’s fundamental idea: “ethics which vary depending on the particular school”, or I translate it as varying depending on the occasion and convenience. The rest you can see for yourselves, on a daily basis.

  8. Sometimes Wright says:

    to Anonymous at July 18, 2017 at 5:57 am,
    I believe Taoism is a symptom of their sickness, not a cause. Psychologists generally believe psychopathy is more to do with genetics than with experience. Cold-blooded animals are not capable of evolving into warm-blooded mammals, at least not in the next million years.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s