Suicide Prevention HK Style

Suicide’s a delicate and complicated subject, but in Hong Kong, psychologists, in cahoots with the Education Bureau, believe a ham-fisted preventative approach works best for youngsters who want to end it all. In Hong Kong, as ever, heavy doses of unwavering practicality, bluntness, box ticking and paperwork are the only answer.

22 students from as young as 11yo have taken their lives since the start of the school year in September. The 4 most recent cases occurred in the space of 5 days. With these grim statistics in mind, here’s what the experts have come up with:


Feeling raw enough to slice your wrists in a bathtub full of warm water? Go play with your pet turtle you crazy nut.

The genius of a form like this is its simplicity. A think tank sits around a table with suicides piling up all around them, aware they must act. They must do something…but what?

Can they wave a magic wand and magically turn Hong Kong from the disgusting, nasty, dog-eat-dog, ‘me first’, cramped, polluted, vacuous place that it is, into a relaxed ‘life before work’ chilled out village? No. Can they somehow convince parents to ease up on the mania…the sheer unadulterated mania and manic delirium they have for all things education? Fuck no. Can they click their fingers and change Chinese culture in one fell swoop – suddenly turning it from the highly authoritarian, discipline based, ‘face’ obsessed, snobbish, group-think, money driven, materialistic culture that it is, into a culture that values the kind of happiness you can’t buy in a shop? No way.  Can they put an end to pre-kindergarten attainment test interviews for 2yo children and all the pressure that instils? Nope. Can they look in the mirror, at the very education system they run and administer…where every facet of every class at every year level bears the psychological weight, importance and pressure of a space shuttle launch…and step back for a second, howl at the moon and scream ‘oh God forgive us what the fuck are we doing we must be out of our fucking minds!’? No fucking way!

So what do these MENSA graduates do? That’s easy. They make a form to fill out. I promise not to kill myself between now and April 17th. How practical. How blunt. How Hong Kong.


By signing this suicide form, you agree to exempt the HK Education Bureau from any responsibility, liability, litigation or loss of face in the event of your untimely demise.

Let’s not even get into the real reasons behind why things are so fucked in Hong Kong for so many people. We wouldn’t want to cause any loss of face for the small number of cartels and big business bosses greedily scooping up 99% of the pie while the majority of Hong Kong sits around arguing whether they are eating it or not. Or more exactly:

“Lets face it, Hong Kong is facing a disintegration of its social fabric; the student suicide rate is just a symptom of that process. The disintegration is due to falling social mobility caused by a cartel of businesses who reduce real wages, push-up costs and exploit workers. These factors, coupled with high property prices, terrible pollution and over-crowding of our city, has placed unbearable strains on all of us. Just to add to that feeling of despair, we have a malfunctioning government, with officials out of touch with reality and low quality politicians. Any young person with an ounce of intellect realises they face years of study, then earning poor wages to buy a cramped concrete box in the sky, at inflated costs; maybe they will get 18-days holiday a year, they will pay into the mandatory provident fund to earn a paltry pension and that’s their future.”

– ‘Kubrick’ Mar 12th 2016, 10:33am



HK Secretary for Education Eddie Ng has a sweet job and a nice house. “I never killed myself when I was a teenager, and look how I turned out.” – Eddie Ng speaks to primary school children last Thursday.


White knuckle time. No pressure, children, but this quiz decides your future. Don’t choke!


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149 Responses to Suicide Prevention HK Style

  1. TonyM says:

    Another superb post Dudley. Thank you. Good lord, what a place.

  2. I am not joking says:

    AIDS/HIV infections are rising non-stop year after year in Hong Kong. And what is the government’s response to the AIDS epidemic? “AIDS/HIV infection is no big deal.”

    More importantly, we need to respect those who practise alternative lifestyle.

    And when there isn’t enough places to bury our loved ones. What is the government response? “Let’s burn their body and spread their ashes into the sea”.

    Suicide is no the rise. What will be the government response? “Let’s legalise euthanasia like so many Western countries. Once legalised, we can attract people from all over the world to come to Hong Kong for legal doctor-assisted euthanasia. It will create jobs and help diversify our economy.”

  3. Sad says:

    @I am not joking – a suicide hub!!!! You are a genius.The govt will lap that right up.

    I’ve said it before – as much as we mock the locals, one has to feel sorry for them. Imagine having to live out your entire life here, at the mercy of the fascists in the PRC and the local ‘tycoons’ who are assisted in screwing you at every turn by the lickspittles in the HK govt.

    I mean, yes, they are mostly greedy, materialistic, racist, soulless c*nts, but this is a pretty sad fate even for them.

    No wonder the queues at every western consulate are so long.

  4. Buck says:

    I’m not sure about the suicide hub idea. I think there would need to be a public consultation on that.

    As an aside, I went to see “Spotlight” last week. You know, that movie about sex abuse of kids in the catholic church. The locals laughed all the way through it. Why bother going to a movie if you totally don’t get the meaning?

  5. Hubert Wong says:

    I love Hong Kong people.

    They’re courageous, strong, righteous, non-egotistical, non-materialistic, humble, caring and polite folk.

    Go go go HK!

  6. More than Sad says:

    One cannot help but feel sorry for the kids.

    1. They can’t start a revolution since they have no guns.
    2. They can’t declare independence since no one would recognize them.
    3. They can’t end crony capitalism since the local government is controlled by the tycoons.
    4. They can’t move to other countries since they don’t speak English and are shunned everywhere they go.
    5. They can’t study at universities since the acceptance rate is only 18%
    6. They don’t believe in love and marriage any more since Hong Kong is the graveyard of marriages and the divorce capital of Asia.
    7. They can’t buy a home since you have to save money for 19 years until you have enough for a down payment (assuming you don’t eat or buy any cloths during the 19 years).

    So what can they do?

  7. Anonymous says:

    Jesus Christ! Dudley please say that the “No-Suicide Contract” is nothing more than a practical joke.

  8. I feel like reporters, journalists, NGOs and the government kind of skate around the issue regarding the actual reasons/problems that lead to the decision of suicide – they mainly concern themselves with the “immediate” prevention. As in, see a problem child and stop it before anything happens. Of course each case is individual, but when there’s a trend, there’s got to be a larger picture. Hong Kong has many deep rooted issues (cultural, social etc) that are not being addressed…

  9. Alan Lai says:

    Great write up! Love your site!

  10. Fuck you says:

    White Trash Suck , White people go to hell , White people eat shits

  11. Edmund Chan says:

    Looking at the year round pale white grey, slightly blotched pale dark grey, pale yellowish grey, pale pinkish and yellowish grey, and my favorite just plain pale grey sky, ticks all the right suicide buttons for me.

  12. Ken says:

    Dont forget the hard entrance of university.There are only 13 thousand places for the local pupils to get in ugc-funded university.Regrettably,the gov tend to suit the taste of President Xi who imposed “one belt one road” policy that allow plenty of foreign learners ,especially the Mainlander, to study in HK at the expense of social mobility for HK students.Is it ridiculus?
    It is worth to give teenagers more chance for their future career instead of safeguarding the monopolistic power from fat cat.

  13. Anon says:

    Mainlanders gotta mainland. Wherever in the world they go.

  14. Pete says:

    Ken, there is nothing wrong with internationalization. It’s good for local students who can develop a more global outlook. The problem right now with government funded universities, however, is it isnt internationlisation, it is mainlandisation.

  15. Samoht says:

    Good read. HK suck balls

  16. Buck says:

    a bit off topic, but did you see those Cathay Pacific girls dancing at the sevens? Oh WTF!!??

  17. You mean this bucket of fuck? …..

  18. Buck says:

    not that. I was referring to the Cathay chicks dancing in front of The Proclaimers.

    Anyway, they looked stupid, but kinda hot too, as trolley dollies do. Speaking of trolley dollies WTF happened to GS by the way. The troll dolly. The full force is outta gas.

  19. Wilky says:

    First 30 seconds of this……

  20. Anon says:

    First impressions are important. No matter if it is in person or on the web. As it is my first time on this site it has become increasingly apparent that there are a lot of differing view points as to what can be counted as wrong, conflicting, inefficient… etc. etc. But as I browse through the comments and replies to “get out if you hate it, or why did you come in the first place” from what I can either assume to be the site host or veteran posters, it seems that a lot of you either have a hard time assimilating with the culture and our peoples or have quite a warped world view. A lot of this “shit talk” is just a form of venting, OK I get that, but to skew your views and not take into account the atrocities and all kinds of “dumb shit” from whatever nation you’ve visited before or originate from is asinine, and downright ignorant.

    I won’t go so far as to insult your intelligence or ask you to leave the place I grew up in. You have a right to go and say whatever the fuck you want. But from where I stand, (being from HK and have studied, lived and vacationed abroad to different countries and places) it’s quite disappointing. Fostering hate, segregation and negativity for your fellow humans is ludicrous and contemptuous.. sinister even. This kind of behavior can be observed in any and ALL nations and peoples.

    This is why people can become misanthropic, with good reason…. Maybe I’m spewing bullshit too… I could be wrong… but wouldn’t it be better to foster positive change, instead of (for a lack of better wording) bitching and moaning about daily life struggles and inconsistencies… . . .?

    I’m not trying to defend my countrymen or what I consider to be part of my own culture, I’m merely suggesting that maybe if you guys were a little more tolerant and open to the rhymes and reasons for these socio-cultural differences, maybe you would be contributing towards improvement, instead of creating divide and hate.

    With peace and love,


  21. Gweilo Suck says:

    As for the expats at the sevens… ’nuff said.

  22. Anonymous says:

    Gweilo Suck troll is shit at all sports and burns with envy at the big strong sporty Gweilos he sees at the 7s. Poor little reject.

  23. Fag says:

    Ooh I just looove those big strong sporty gwailos…

  24. says:

    your peace and love crap worries me, GS.

  25. Blah Blah Blah says:


    First impressions are important. No matter if it is in person or on the web. As it is my first time on this site it has become increasingly apparent that there are a lot of differing view points as to what can be counted as wrong, conflicting, inefficient… etc. etc.

    The blog is satirical. It’s also funny as fuck. Mainstream media are flooded with touchy feely multicultural bullshit, it’s independent sites like this that breathe fresh air into diversity of opinion and free expression.

    The best counter to an argument is a better argument, not whining and moralizing. Present a funnier more sarcastic blog about dumbass whiteys. You think I’ll give a flying fuck? If it’s funny I’ll laugh my fucking ass off. The thin-skinned easily offended 3rd worldlings never cease to amaze me. You live in a world created by a technological revolution rooted in free expression and are completely unable to understand how we even got here.

    One of the things that I’ve noticed among many so-called “modern” 3rd worldlings is the glaring fact the concept of free unfettered expression is in fact complete alien to their culture. Could it be that your style of restrained, polite, “harmonious,” thoughtful discourse is one of the contributing factors to a thousand years of technological stagnation? I’d argue it is. BECAUSE, vigorous offensive discourse pushes the thought process to reveal ultimate truths. Challenging authority, rejecting conventional thinking and sacrosanct social institutions is the lifeblood of progress.

    The REASON the West has experienced such spectacular growth over the last 200 years is precisely rooted in our vigorous unfettered, yes, offensive discourse. The West was a moribound fetid shithole until daring clergy dared to challenge the spiritual monopoly of the church over the lives of peasant swine. The result was the unleashing of creative genius unrivaled by any society in modern history.

    Present better satire or go fuck off.

  26. Anon says:

    Very well put. They will need to lose this ‘face’ bullshit that rules every part of their lives before that can happen.

  27. White people have no shame says:

    White people have no shame. They ‘re stupid , ugly, fat ,smelly, need to be destroy

  28. Anon 2.0 says:

    @Blah Blah Blah at

    [i] “One of the things that I’ve noticed among many so-called “modern” 3rd worldlings is the glaring fact the concept of free unfettered expression is in fact complete alien to their culture. Could it be that your style of restrained, polite, “harmonious,” thoughtful discourse is one of the contributing factors to a thousand years of technological stagnation? I’d argue it is. BECAUSE, vigorous offensive discourse pushes the thought process to reveal ultimate truths. Challenging authority, rejecting conventional thinking and sacrosanct social institutions is the lifeblood of progress.

    The REASON the West has experienced such spectacular growth over the last 200 years is precisely rooted in our vigorous unfettered, yes, offensive discourse. The West was a moribound fetid shithole until daring clergy dared to challenge the spiritual monopoly of the church over the lives of peasant swine. The result was the unleashing of creative genius unrivaled by any society in modern history.” [/i]

    I hope for your sake that Donald Trump gets elected the President of the United States and leader of the free world!!

    Long live vigorous offensive discourse!!

  29. AI913 says:

    I fucking hate Hong Kong! Wanna escape from this city! Fuck!

  30. SH says:

    Just wanted to say I got your “Hooligans push over bin in Shaftesbury” reference. I love you man.

  31. Kibo says:

    I have only been in HK for around 8 months to get an MBA, but I do feel I have aquired some knowledge and insight into this place. I think I stumbbled upon this blog one day when I was feeling going all out ISIS on the retard Mong Kok Mtr zombies, little rat pushers, blind Candy Clush c(L)rush crew! And even though I do think there are a lot of cool things about HK I have come to realize that the locals are really the dumbest excuses for human existance. The high prices I understand, its a city for making money and if arent then really this isnt a place for you. However living before n Shanghai and travelling a lot throughout Asia I did come with a certain positive prejudice towards the Chinks. However behold! Things are rarely as they seem, now I can with a degree of certainity say that Chinese, especially the locals, are rather a smelly,foul, lying, pushing, materialistic pack of rats.
    To get to the the point, what motivated me to leave a comment is that after spending last night reading some very funny posts and comments I had to start ackgnowledging the existance of Miss Gay Suck and her friend Loser who dreams about white women sucking his little diseased toes and pissing a foul stench of Guiness into his mouth! You two idiots are completely insane and actually the prototypes of your scum race- lets see 168 tall, big headed, blind, hairless, foul breath, little cock, Reebok Instapump ( so u grow 2 cm) wearing little shits. Your posts also reveiled the depraved fantasies you little Chink cunts have, people pissing and shitting in your tooth decaying mouths!! Anyway cheers and bon apettite LA!

    Ps- im not anglo, Im actually East European Slav, and I agree 100 percent with most of how u rats are described here by other posters. So I guess you cockroaches are animals. Gwillo Sucks , go eat ur big brothers or uncles Lees chilli tasting sesame bun shit!

  32. Nice place says:

    What other places in the world would you find where most people (with very few exceptions) are in general:

    (1) amoral
    (2) indifferent as to everything and everyone
    (3) self-centered and inconsiderate
    (4) dishonest
    (5) dog-eat-dog
    (6) constantly thinking about leaving the place (whether for the short-term or in the long run)
    (7) living in 150 sq ft (on average) with perhaps one other person

    Does the video remind you of Occupy Central or the Mongkok Fishball Revolution?

  33. Gweilo Suck says:

    Yes, looks exactly the same to me, just see a bunch of non-white people.

  34. TonyM says:

    Kibo..first class post. 100% right.

    This blog at least helps at laugh at the freaks here like Gay Suck half-man weirdo.

    The biggest joke is Hong Kong.

  35. TonyM says:

    Kibo…meant to add YES foul breath…so true. I have had to tell staff to brush their teeth before meetings! What is up sith this hole!!??

    Dudley could do a post about personal hygiene here.

  36. Pete says:

    This is totally irrelevant, and not my business. Just a curious observation. Every night for the past year I pass a group of around 20 old women in the park, exercising to the song “Come Sing A Song Of Joy”. Good on them to be exercising (it contrasts with the typical pot-bellied HKer). Bravo. But, the SAME single song over and over, every night? Seriously?

  37. Gweilo suck says:

    “Typical pot bellied HKer”? Um OK. More fat gweilos here than Chinese.

  38. Pete says:

    Have you seen the inside a gym GS? Normally it will be empty. Or, some lone HK guy who spanks himself and then goes off to blow dry his pubes. HK’s idea of fitness is to go for a 1km hike fully kitted out with GPS, safety beacons, a pack of mosquito repellent stickers, neck cover, head cover, loaded back pack (full of what?), bed roll, titanium pole….and a fucking noisy radio.

    Like, all this shit is needed for a 1km hike. Yeah right. HKers love their conspicuous consumption, be it down town or up a hill.

  39. Gweilo suck says:

    Whatever. Maybe the reason gyms are empty is because HKers aren’t fat fucks like white people.

  40. Pete says:


  41. Anonymous says:

    Anon 2.0 on April 23, 2016 at 1:11 pm

    “I hope for your sake that Donald Trump gets elected the President of the United States and leader of the free world!!”

    What do you know? Trump to you, right on your face. He won’t. But he would make a great leader for this shithole called China. He has all the attributes of a good Chinese leader. In the meantime, enjoy the show little tweezers wanker.

  42. Anon says:

    Gweilo suck says:
    May 4, 2016 at 7:20 pm
    “More fat gweilos here than Chinese”.

    Well you should know. You claimed to be over 6ft 2 inches tall and 240 pounds in another thread. You must be one bum faced fuck with stats like that.

  43. Gweilo suck says:

    Not so mouthy are you now, Pete. I wonder why you go to the gym?

  44. Pete says:

    Every now and then there is a bit of Chinglish in your posts, GS.

  45. TonyM says:

    GS pathetic no mark. Die slowly or fast noone will care. Racist tosser, scared of big white guys? Want a white woman but know you have NO chance? Maybe wanna be fucked in the ass by a white dude but the gay whites hate you too…THATS IT!! GOTCHA

  46. How do I get out? says:

    Last night, which was a Saturday, I was in Shek Tong Tsui.

    I got out of the MTR station (at HKU) and then within 10 minutes, this is what i saw.

    Crossing the street, a 70-year-old man was transporting a trolley full of carton paper. He rammed the trolley into the passerby, which happened to be a 4 year old girl. The girl’s mother started a screaming and yelling session with the 70-year-old man. You can hear her from 50 meters away.

    Next, I walked towards a bus stop. Two Caucasian men were french kissing openly while waiting for a bus there. At least few dozen people were nearby and were able to see them. It was like “Who gives the fuck about the locals?”

    Within a few minutes, a crossdressing man (a local) wearing a skirt got onto the same bus as I. Everyone on the bus started to panic (including the driver). He stayed on the lower deck. I went up to the upper deck.

    All of the above happened within 10 minutes.

    This place is beyond redemption.

  47. Pete says:

    Take your meds Kibo (aka GS).There’s a good boy.


  48. Anon says:

    white people suck dick and fuck off loser

    Yay! The boys are back in town! Mainlanders just gotta mainland!

  49. Pete says:

    It must be hell to be a Chinese who is born in the west. Bullied in your country of birth, but, treated as a local in China. Oh bugger! You can talk loudly in English and try to chase western women, but you cant escape that little 168cm frame and noddy walk, aye boyo?

  50. Pete says:

    It must be hell to be a Mr Wong. I suppose if you live in China and compare yourself to other Chinamen, you feel ok. But you must feel really pissed when comparing yourselves to western men.

    Western women dont want you, Mr Wong. And the hottest Chinese women go for western men when they can. Think about it. It seems odd to see a Chinaman with a western woman, yes? Be honest now. But it seems very normal to see a China woman with a western man. It’s all to do with a stronger gene pool. Makes perfect evolutionary sense. Females want strong offspring.

    Oh bugger, again, Mr Wong! You should have been a stain in your father’s underpants.

  51. Anonymous says:

    And the shit turns into soup again, just like the fucking local chinks like it. Bon Appétit fuckers.

  52. Hard Dick says:

    Dudley, please start something new. Anything.

  53. Todd says:

    how about Chinese funerals. I went to a ceremony in that Hong Hom place last week. Unbelieaveable. Chinese weddings too.

    Where to start…..

  54. Pete says:

    You can take the man out of China, but you cant take China out of the Chinaman.


  55. Anon says:

    Pete says:
    May 9, 2016 at 7:44 pm
    ‘You can take the man out of China, but you cant take China out of the Chinaman’

    Spot on! Pete! Mong soup the lot of them. .

  56. Pete says:

    “HK stuck at health index rear with little exercise” May 10, 2016, The Standard

    Hongkongers are the least satisfied with their health and have one of the most unhealthy lifestyles in the region, a survey found.
    Among 15 economies in the Asia- Pacific, the SAR came in last, scoring 57 points out of 100 in the survey conducted by insurance giant AIA.
    China ranked first, scoring 72 points, and Singapore was 11th with 61.
    The Healthy Living Index is a composite measure that takes into account individuals’ satisfaction with their own health as well as behavior conducive to a healthy lifestyle.
    Hongkongers gave themselves 6.4 out of 10 on their own health status lower than the regional average of 7.3.
    About 74 percent felt their health is worse now than five years back.
    Even though locals are well aware of what is needed to live a healthy life, their self-assessments were highly negative.
    The survey polled 10,316 people aged 18 or older in January, including 605 in Hong Kong.
    Hongkongers were also found to exercise just 2.7 hours a week lower than the regional average of three hours and well below the 30 minutes a day recommended by the Department of Health.
    Other key drivers of healthy living include eating healthily, maintaining a positive mindset and knowing how to reduce stress.
    With Hong Kong one of the most connected markets in the world, with ownership of smartphones and other devices at high levels, the survey found that locals on average spent 3.7 hours a day on the internet for nonwork purposes.
    The survey also showed that two out of three locals want to lose weight by an average of nearly seven kilograms.
    This is the third Healthy Living Index released by AIA. Hong Kong also scored poorly in 2011 with 57 points and in 2013 with 58.


  57. WHITE RULES says:

    I’m an expat and I absolutely love everything about Hong Kong. I came last year after my friends described it as an everyday magaluf. I cannot believe that those local chicks open their pussies so easily just because you are white. A shout out to all white men – if you want cheap, free honkie sluts then come here. As long as you you’re white, these local sluts will suck your dick regardless if you’re short, fat, ginger, old.

    And, the local men are simply pure cowards, seriously! LOL they do not have a single back bone to them! Weak peasants which are no use to this planet..their women were born to be fucked by us 😀


  58. Anon says:


    The mong is strong in this one

  59. Dick Hart says:

    Dudley, how about a post about Hk women.

    See here:


  60. Pete says:

    Someone is butt hurt…..

  61. Anonymous says:

    Reading these comments is almost as funny as watching a HK family of 5 travel home on the MTR each armed with three 24x packs of toilet paper.


  62. Pete says:

    It has gone very quiet here all of a sudden. Very unusal for HK. Someone needs to burp or fart or drill or shout or spank themselves or slam a door or put a boom box on their bike, to break the silence. That’s how it usually works in HK, yes?

  63. Cat's Eye says:

    Not quiet here. There’s a kid upstairs who thinks he’s Beethoven and someone just slammed a door. Living in a walk-up in Discovery Bay has got to be about as close to hell as one can get. Dudley, where are you?

  64. Pete says:

    I hear you. Just now I had to have a word with my neighbours, who were having an extended loud conversation in the corridor. I dont understand why HK people enjoy hanging out in corridors, with kids screaming, and shouting “bye bye” endlessly.

    I hate the way HKers treat the lift lobby as if it were their own. Shouting, stacks of stinky shoes, and burning money/incense shit. Friggen health and fire hazard. I’m going to pee on the next burning item in the lobby. Let’s see how much luck and prosperity that brings them. Boorish pricks.

  65. Anonymous says:

    Chinese cunt eventually gets sooooo boring. Like fucking a sex doll or robot.

  66. Gweilo suck says:

    Discovery Bay hahahaha

  67. Jacob Z says:

    To the discussion in regard to Chinagirls: OK, agreed they may be dull robots…BUT you won’t get bored of em rimming and tounging your butthole! It’s like their life mission = 1) find Gwaillo 2) lick and tongue his bunghole till he proposes marriage. You can almost forgive the fools who succumb to it?

  68. Gweilo suck says:

    No girl ever done this for me. I am mixed race, mum Chinese, is this why?

  69. Anonymous says:

    GS just fuck off and troll someplace else. Loser scum.

  70. Peter Piper says:

    I knew I wasn’t the only one who can’t resist a lifeless robot rimming my butthole.

  71. DB guy says:

    Where can I find a girl who will lick my butt? Here in DB they’re all fat and white.

  72. Buck says:

    Look at that. Same old same old. GS et al.

    Well I’m just here to get paid and laid. I suppose you could say I’m always on the job. Doing it for HK.

  73. Anonymous says:

    GS, and where’s your dad from? Kepler-186f?

  74. Gweilo suck says:

    And look at that, same old Buck.
    Still getting paid (15k a month as an English teacher) and laid (fucked a few disgusting filipinas in wan chai).

  75. Buck says:

    Good one, GS. You got me there.

  76. Anon says:

    Hey GS,

    Are you past the half century Chinese women shag count yet? That was your score back in October?

    Must be annoying for your Mum and Dad when they are trying to sleep on the lower bunk.

  77. Gweilo suck says:

    Don’t worry, they’re far away in an old folks home. I’m western like that.

  78. Dick Hart says:

    Discovery Bay is nice place.

    Do they have transgender toilet there yet?

  79. Anon says:

    Gweilo suck on May 17, 2016 at 6:35 pm. said

    “Don’t worry, they’re far away in an old folks home. I’m western like that.”

    No you aren’t you are a half chat.

  80. Anon says:

    Gweilo suck says:
    May 17, 2016 at 6:35 pm
    ‘Don’t worry, they’re far away in an old folks home. I’m western like that’

    No you are not. You are a half chat. Anyway tell us, have you got past the 50 yet since October?.

  81. try swinging a cat without hitting a moron in this town says:

    Hard Dick says:
    May 9, 2016 at 6:02 pm
    Dudley, please start something new. Anything.

    I agree. May I suggest a theme? How about ‘Stupid People Should Not Use Smart Phones’?

    Hong Kong is full of stupid, selfish people and thus their smartphone behavior is among the worst I’ve ever seen anywhere. Drooling, slack jawed, easily distracted cretins stumbling around, barging into normal people, unable to tear themselves away from the bright colors and flashing lights on their smartphone screens. They all appear to be playing the same mindless game or are engaged in interminable idiotic IM conversations with each other. And then there are the utterly selfish fuckwits who watch canto videos at top volume on the MTR, naturally without earphones, so we all get to hear the gibbering and giggling of what passes for entertainment in their shitty world.

    I think you get the idea.

  82. Gweilo suck says:

    Oh yes Dudley, yes! Just be sure not to mention the smartphone habits of north Americans and Europeans, which are identical except for the grotesque language of Cantonese! And better exclude the domestic helpers, those saintly victims who must urgently check facebook at every opportunity, or endlessly debate weighty philosophical and geopolitical issues in their adorable pitter-patter.

  83. Anon says:

    Come on GS spill the beans! Have you got past the 50 mark with all those those Chinese women you claimed you’d shagged in October last year?

    Don’t be coy.

  84. Gweilo suck says:

    Of course anon. Last weekend I had a 3 way with a couple of 19 year old twins, should have the mom in the bag soon. I love Chinese pussy.

  85. Anon says:

    Well that’s just greedy. Don’t tell your brethren on the mainland

  86. tony m says:

    GS is an entertaining freak we love to hate. We know a few things for sure:
    Mixed race
    Rejected by father
    Sees mother as whore (likely right)
    Bullied / no mates diring underachieving spell in UK education
    Virgin for non paid for sex
    Not an airline pilot

    any additions?

  87. Gweilo suck says:

    Wrong on all counts! Some people got way too much time on their hands.

  88. Local Psycho says:

    Dudley, let’s talk about next!!!

    Number of youngsters under 15 years old who sought help from Hospital Authority’s psychiatry department jumps 78 per cent since 2010

    In 2010, there were 1.7 million people in Hong Kong with mental or psychological illnesses.

    If there is a 78 per cent rise from 2010, there should be around 3 million people in the general population with mental illnesses.

  89. Local Psycho says:

    Dudley, forgot about this:

    “90 per cent of those polled said they have frequently thought about suicide in the past 30 days.”

  90. Anonymous says:

    LOL I love the butthole rimming shit. That explains why they’re so obsessed with toilet paper, to clean their fucking mouths. C’mon give’em a big kiss.

  91. suzie33 says:

    Sounds just like London….

    This is why I got outtta there after two years. People get stupidly lurred to these cities because of the nice buildings and busy lifestyle and brainwashing that these are ” the most exciting cities in the world” but it is horrible, expensive and overrated..

    All big cities of the world are overrated because they are run and controlled by the rich oppressing the poor, but they fool you into thinking you can have their lifestyle too. One thing I learned in all my travels is to keep your life simple. Family, friends and God are the most important things in life.

    Big cities are cold, unfriendly and materialistic. It is better to live in a little village where you have a sense of community around you than in a big city on your own living an individualistic life. I was also sick of the number of “normal” people committing suicide in London. People committ suicide because they are pursuing the wrong things in life. If you believe money, success and fame is all there is to life, you will consider taking your life, if you don’t achieve those things. Don’t we have enough dead rich celebrities to prove that to us ?

  92. Anonymous says:

    Suzie33, you’re trying to compare shit-for-brains with yuppies. Yuppies are way smarter. Go to sleep. And who gives a shit about dead celebs. The topic here is about school children taking their lives because of a fucking rotten education system/society, not fucking celebs. Even that fucking idiot called Nicky Morgan couldn’t do this kind of damage, however hard she tries. And don’t try to compare this fuckhole with London for fuck sake!

  93. Asylum with a giant casino says:

    U think it’s bad now, huh?

    Wait till 2047. There will literally be zombies everywhere.

  94. Anonymous says:

    “Big cities are cold, unfriendly and materialistic. It is better to live in a little village where you have a sense of community around you than in a big city on your own living an individualistic life.”

    Yeah, right, try to live in “little villages” in this turd of a place. Sense of community? Give me a fucking break. But you can try to live somewhere like Yuen Long or Tai Po for ex. Do it and you’ll see even more shit coming at you (and a lot more racist abuse). There’s no “little village” here my friend, there’s only an almighty pile of shit everywhere you go. The only thing you find here are garden varieties of shit. If you want to live in REAL little villages in China, your best bet is to move somewhere in the mainland, there might be a few die hard ones left up there.

  95. Anon says:

    Move to a little village in the UK and you will find most of the houses there are owned by people from places like London as a second that they rent out. The life blood of those places has been sucked out of them.

  96. Anonymous says:

    Exactly. And the rest are full of old people with the occasional DSS trash.

  97. Anon says:

    Heard from a local friend today that the Japanese are being introduced to Chinese cultural enrichment.

    Rather than spend money in restaurants the mainland tourists there are using the hotel room kettles and water heaters for various purposes such cooking hot pot, noodles, as a spittoon and even to hot wash socks.

    5000 years of culture.

    Judas fucking priest…

  98. Anonymous says:

    Yep, Hertfordshire, Sussex, Essex, Kent, Berkshire, Surrey, Hampshire and vicinity are good examples. But this situation isn’t exactly nationwide. Of course you have to dig really deep to find that so called sense of community in little villages across the UK, but it’s not all that black and white as it seems.

  99. Gweilo suck says:

    Anon this is a blog about Hong Kong. Most HK Chinese hate mainlanders.

    You fucking moron.

  100. Anon says:

    Fuck off zipperhead

    HK is part of mainland China. More and more lHK locals are beginning to behave like mainlanders. It seems if you can’t beat them they are joining them. They are all at it from politicians downwards. At one time it was easy to spot the difference in the behaviour but no longer. Only this week loads of office workers were prohibited from going for lunch by the police due to some knob jockey from the PRC government was in the surrounding streets.

  101. 2047 is here says:

    Please stop comparing Mainlanders and HKers.

    Mainlanders at the very least have interests in studying literatures, history and philosophy.

    Here, it’s just money and business. Nothing else. HKers are universally hated and shunned everywhere they go, including inside China..

  102. Anonymous says:

    Anon, you are full of shit.

  103. Anon says:

    No I’m just right about everything

    I notice you attack the man not the argument

    The decline in standards of behaviour in HK amongst local, mainland gimmegrants and expats is a constant theme in the papers, TV news and on social media and it’s happening in all levels of society from the politicians behaving like the apparatchiks on the mainland to working people who won’t give up seats on public transport to the elderly, the infirm or pregnant women. I’m not saying the same thing doesn’t happen in other countries but it seems to be absolutely rife in HK. I know people who left HK to live in Canada, UK, NZ ,Austrlalia and Singapore and one of the main reasons they left was they were fed up of people’s behaviour. Apart from visiting family none of them have any intention of returning for good as they’ve seen what other places are like when the population doesn’t suffer from what can only be described as some form of collective Aprrgers syndrome.

  104. Anon says:

    That should readc Aspergers Syndrome
    You’ll see every symptom of it, frequently, on a daily basis in HK

  105. Hans Asperger says:

    Everyone in Hong Kong knows they are living in a hell on earth.

    “90 per cent of those polled said they have FREQUENTLY thought about suicide in the past 30 days.”

    That was probably not an exaggeration.. Local TV commercial ads are full of messages telling people not to kill themselves.

    Maybe in a few months, the Hospital Authority will have its own “No Suicide Contract” of its own. Perhaps then, Dudley will write again!!

  106. Anonymous says:

    A simplified classification of Asperger Syndrome in social interaction from Wikipedia:

    “A lack of demonstrated empathy affects aspects of communal living for persons with Asperger Syndrome. Individuals with AS experience difficulties in basic elements of social interaction, which may include a failure to develop friendships or to seek shared enjoyments or achievements with others, a lack of social or emotional reciprocity, and impaired nonverbal behaviors in areas such as eye contact, facial expression, posture, and gesture…
    …This social awkwardness has been called “active but odd”. This failure to react appropriately to social interaction may appear as disregard for other people’s feelings, and may come across as insensitive.”

    Any resemblance with Hong Kong?

  107. Gweilos Suck says:

    white women may ignore me and whit men may have sacked me but i am half white on my Dafds side..the bastard left me…and i deserve not to be laughed at as a joke and a fool all my life. i also have a Chinamans cock.

  108. Gweilo suck says:

    i just want to be accepted with my small penis and trouble finding work and respect

  109. Anonymous says:

    Nope, I’m probably whiter than you. Pure unadulterated Anglo Saxon. Nothing to be proud of admittedly.

  110. Suck Gweilo says:

    Dudley, let’s talk about this next…

    HK has the longest working hours per week in the world.. but obviously 90% of the time of the 50-hour week is spent on in-fighting, facebooking, gossiping and some other pedantic non-sensing.

  111. Gweilo suck says:

    Now you’re talking. HK work culture sucks balls.

  112. Buck says:

    “90% of the time of the 50-hour week is spent on in-fighting, facebooking, gossiping and some other pedantic non-sensing”.

    90% of the time is spent sitting idle, waiting for the boss (me) to leave. This sitting at the desk obsurdity is so Hong Kong. Hours at a desk means nothing. Dear HK colleagues, if you produce the output, I really don’t care if you go home before I do!

  113. Suck Gweiloo Boss says:

    “90% of the time of the 50-hour week is spent on in-fighting, facebooking, gossiping and some other pedantic non-sensing”.

    9% of the time is spent on kissing up or pretending to be kissing up to the boss (or his wife).

    1% in doing real work.

  114. tony m says:

    I was dumb enough to wait 7 years before I finally sacked all but 1 of the local Canto robots in my business. Gone so much better since then.

  115. A Loof says:

    Your temporary imprisonment here in Hong Kong would be far better as soon as you realise the truth: almost everyone here is self-centered, dishonest and amoral.

    On top of that, the younger generation are all spoiled brats: they spent all their time on some inconsequential pedantic non-senses.

    Once your realise the above and avoid all interactions and contacts with the locals (unless you have absolutely no choice), your life would become normal again.

  116. Anonymous says:

    A Loof, that of course largely depends on the amount of money you make. “Normal” life has a lot to do with having a normal living environment, or a decent sized house in a decent neighbourhood, not a shitty/tiny concrete box inside disgusting buildings filled with the kind of people you’ll find in a mental hospital, in a slum, public squalor or in a war zone, and all of this going at obscene “premium” rates! Where would you be likely to find remotely decent places? For what I know only the peak would qualify for that matter (you can even forget about fucking DB or RB or Stanley, etc. which are also obscenely expensive). Now, how much do you need to fork out to get a place on the peak? I’d rather say BAZINGA than to even try to compute the price for those places. What is a normal life in Hong Kong? Trumpery!

  117. Gweilo Robot says:

    tony m,

    your description of Canto Robots is apt.

    like robots (eg, AlphaGo in playing Go), these local people were designed with one purpose in mind only (eg, passing the toughest exam in the world, making a quick buck).

    Like AlphaGo, they fail in the most basic everyday task in the real world. They lack compassion, integrity, honesty, morality and common sense.

  118. tony m says:

    Gweilo Robot. It is sad, but I concurr with you. I came to this place with an open mind. You are so right. HK Chinese…no thanks.

    I recall trolls on this site banging on about ‘Why stay if youdont like it?’ well:
    1) I dont have to dip into the cess pool they call culture or assimilate with Chinese
    2) (and this is the big middle finger FUCK YOU to Trolls): if you have to suffer 5 years in a shithole but know you would be rich / rich enough for life after it would you? The trolls are such failures they never figured that for many of us this is our tough patch for a life they will never ever have.

    Sucking out the money, fucking the women until we cant stand em no more (ass licking whores? I agree)…and then getting the fuck out forever and never looking back!!

    High fives all round.

  119. Gweilo suck says:

    Lol @ paying for sex

  120. We We Wet says:

    Pakistani hailed for saving suicidal foreigner, while many locals just stood there.

    I bet the locals were taking pictures/videos and uploading the stuff to facebook and youtube. They must have enjoyed seeing other people suffer.

    Selfish, heartless and apathetic. This place is beyond redemption.

  121. Gweilo suck says:

    Fucking loser didn’t do it the right way and jump off a building. Pathetic cry for attention. Probably dumped by his hk girlfriend for limp dick and low bank balance. What kind of low end trash lives in yuen long ffs.

    And where in the article does it say anyone else passed by this idiot before the Pakistani did?

  122. We We Wet says:

    @Gweilo Suck,

    It’s in the Chinese article. a Mrs Hui was so impressed with the Paki that she gave him a iPhone SE as a gift.

    this Mrs Hui is so happy a gweilo is saved…

  123. Anon says:

    Gweilo Sucks,

    Fuck off to the beach and look for patterns in the sand aspergers boy

  124. Zhangjuanbao says:

    @ Gweilo Sucks

    You are the one who has been crying for attention here it seems! The more you post, the more you dig your own grave. So, keep it up!

  125. Buck says:

    I’m kinda in a state of shock over the whole bookseller saga. Holly shit. Gotta get outta here.

  126. Anonymous says:

    I’m out of here. Goodbye hong kong assholes, goodbye Gweilo Suck, I hope you choke in your own feces (enjoy your time in this shithole of yours). Finally, there are lots of yellow trash in my own country (that’s for Gweilo Suck’s girlfriend who seems to have disappeared – too busy rimming white trash buttholes), I’ll be sure to pay you with the very same coin.

  127. Anonymous says:

    Goodbye and good luck, Anonymous. Someday I will be thrilled when I can say, “I’m out of here.”
    Dudley, looking forward to a new post.

  128. Kesler212 says:

    Just read HK is world’s most expensive city to live. I recon a key mistake was the British allowing too many Chinese in and the subsequent over crowding. Now Chinamen control it it will get even worse, and adds more stress for kids studying and will also lead to more Chinagirls licking and tounging white ass in the hope of a way out. Very sad.

  129. Gweilo suck says:

    “Letting too many chinamen in”. You are beyond help, please kill yourself now.

  130. Kesler212 says:

    GS…they let your parents / grand parents in…yikes.

  131. Anon says:

    Its best to ignore GS
    The Asperger boy has do his Asperger thing

  132. Buck says:

    A few months ago someone raised the Asperger’s issue. Since then I have done a bit of observational research, and bingo, HK is indeed the capital of Asperger’s.

  133. Dog-eat-dog with Chinese characteristics says:

    HK is just one giant asylum with a huge casino in the Central.

  134. Gweilo suck says:

    Maybe you should get out of “the central” sometimes.

  135. Buck says:

    that’s the only time you have made me laugh, GS.

  136. Kristy says:

    A suicide contract is a totally legit method that’s used by mental health professionals. Part of feeling suicidal is the “nobody cares” it’s better if I do this.” It may not be much, but it’s something to remind you that the decision doesn’t just affect you and the feeling will subside.

  137. hongkongisthetruehell;) says:

    Imma out of here. Contract, or no contract, I’m out, that’s for sure. Good luck to you hongkong. Have a “happy” life there!

  138. 路人甲 says:

    @Anon I don’t see any improvement or positive attribute you did. Pretty ironic. And speaking like that to a clearly emotional post you are very insensitive and ignorant.

    Looking forward to your improvement

  139. Anon says:

    Hmmm, you are new here aren’t you?

  140. we wet says:

    HK$150,000 for each school!!!

    I knew it: suicide prevention will become a major industry in Hong Kong.

  141. Apocalypse Chan says:

    I notice some interesting pattens in Hong Kong which are not found elsewhere in Asia:

    1. Parents obey children
    2. Teachers have to please students
    3. Employers have to please employees
    4. People govern the government
    5. Criminals accuse the police of wrongdoings
    6. Husbands respect their wives

  142. Gweilo suck says:

    I want to agree with you there, Mr Chan, however, 2, 3 and 4 are completely false. And the remaining are more accurate when compared to the west.

  143. Anonymous says:

    Red Alert has been hoisted by the Hong Kong Suicide Observatory today!!

    two kids jumped within 5 hours yesterday: one in Tung Chung, the other in Tin Shui Wai..

    Attention parents, put your kids in shackles in the next few days.

  144. Donald Chum says:

    can kids from Hong Kong claim refugee status in order to enter the United States?

  145. Brainless island says:

    Schools here are total shite. The vulgar rich ‘Prince and Princess’ kids then get sent off to infect Western schools.

  146. Eurythmics says:

    either spolit brats or suicidal, which reminds me of a song.

    “some of them want to abuse you; some of them want to be abused.”

  147. Dystopian Chan says:

    Hong Kong could see 35 per cent surge in HIV cases by 2021, report says
    I think the Hong Kong governments should distribute condoms freely at schools, shopping malls and MTR stations immediately.

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