The Mannings Pig Scramble

The Mannings Pig Scramble

The Mannings Pig Scramble

Time:          10:45am
Location:  Mannings
Event:        The Mannings Pig Scramble

I really love the Mannings Pig Scramble. It’s pretty much a unique blend of everything I love actually…mindless crowds, wild yelling, self-centered feverishness, completely uninhibited baseness, squatting, hoarding, littering, greed, irrational compulsive consumption dependency disorder…the list goes on. It’s a real spectacle.

There’s not much else to say. Mainland spending power is a shot in the arm for Hong Kong and scramblers are welcomed wherever they go. Incidentally, if the Occupy Central movement has it’s way, there will be even more freedoms and benefits for mainalnders who love to scramble and Hong Kong will become the mightiest and most delicious pig trough the world has ever known.

So, if you’ve never seen a Mannings Pig Scramble, haven’t seen one for a while or just want to soak up some of the fun and relive some of the memories of your favourite scramble…just sit back, relax and get a load of this shit…

Vital supplies

Oh hi! Doin’ some scramblin’?

Oh yeah

Pawing over vital supplies…over the counter chemist supplies…hand lotion, earhole cleaners, biscuits in the shape of a mouse, 40,000 individulally wrapped Ferrero chocolates…you know…the kinds of essential rarities one could only ever possibly find deep inside some Hong Kong pig trough.

Let's sit directly outside the shop right in front of the door and do the pack

Let’s squat directly outside the shop right in front of the door and do the pack

Suitcase Tetris! She's changed the configuration of her stupid junk 40 times

Suitcase Tetris! She’s changed the configuration of her stupid junk 40 times

At the end of the night...a different kind of pig scramble...ooh lala

When the dust settles…a different kind of pig scramble…ooh lala

Hey everyone...I found a good spot to squat and do the pack...here...right in front of the door. It's perfect.

Hey everyone…I found a good spot to squat and do the pack…here…right in front of the door. It’s perfect.

Happy scramblers

Snout & about at the Mannings Pig Scramble.

Many of the scramblers de-box their junk and leave the discarded rubbish on the ground. Specially trained Mannings staff pick up after them, clearing the way for more scramblers and more littering packs.

Many of the scramblers de-box their junk in order to shamelessly stuff ever more armfuls of useless stupid junk into their gaudy suitcase after which they simply discard the rubbish and leave it on the ground. Specially trained Mannings staff pick up after them, clearing the way for more scramblers and more mess. At Mannings, more mess = more money…and it’s always messy at the Pig Scramble.

Scrambling teamwork

The Chinese are some of the most hygeinic people in the world…a suitcase so full of Mannings toothbrushes, mouthwash and liquid soap, that it takes 2 people to jam it closed, is testiment to that.

A pack can take anywhere from 10 minutes to an hour. Receipts need to be checked with a fine tooth comb several times over...products need to be pawed at, inspected, held upside down, smelt, studied and packed into 16 different suitcase locations before finally coming to rest in a satisfactory spot.

A pack can take anywhere from 10 minutes to an hour. Receipts need to be checked with a fine tooth comb several times over…products need to be pawed at, inspected, held upside down, smelt, studied, poked, prodded and packed into a thousand different configurations. Then it’s off to Watsons to fill the other 9 suitcases.

Fuck it...let's just pack right here...inside the shop.

Fuck it…let’s just pack right here…inside the shop.

Hong Kong's the bucket

Hong Kong’s the filth addled blue bucket…and the pigs…well they’re just dirty fucking pigs.

The Mannings Pig Scramble.

GET SOME!

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44 Responses to The Mannings Pig Scramble

  1. What do you expect says:

    This is what a culture based entirely on greed, materialism and selfishness looks like. Their HK cousins may be a bit less crude but they are no really different.

  2. As a??????…….
    I can’t understand why obama have visited here.
    This city have forgotten from memory of British man.
    Unfortanately, a lot of devils or wild animals have trying to visit here
    such as Anonymous. LOL
    where are you go????????

  3. Creamy Poon says:

    HK people resent the fact that gwailo live here for extended periods of time without learning Cantonese, but HK people start learning English at three years old and are all pretty much as unintelligible as CY Antoinette.

  4. olivier says:

    Thank god for this blog,

    I recently moved here for work

    Worst decision ever, all I can do is stay home which is a shitty old dirty 4 square meter bedroom with a shared bathroom that reeks of Bangladesh and play music as loud as possible to try to forget how despicable the people are and how shitty this town is.

    Please write an article about the cunt fucking hipsters in Central from France and Europe opening cafés growing beards and opening art galleries/ The only thing sadder than a Hong Konger is a Westerner thinking that he’s made it because he’s ”successful” here, the sad old overweight gwailo fraternizing with the south east asians, that is also actually well sad

    Keep up the good work you made my day which was a complete piece of shit day a little bit more bearable

  5. CYantoinette says:

    gwailo?
    China is gwailo.
    Also your province “Canton” is gwailo.
    Also your dominator of yesterday Britain is gwailo?
    Wtfuck??? Ask who are you to yourself and please remind where’s your home located on.

  6. Kutak mana says:

    Well…….
    Including dudley, everyone in here are better to move to other countries.
    Clearly, something went wrong or problem have occured by someone in here.
    That woman in photo……
    Haven’t you think done that woman in the photo is pretty pity?
    Entrance of hell had unfortunately opened I think.
    Also how to we are able to inquire the
    true character of protesters?

    Well, Entrance of hell have unfortunately

  7. Anonymous says:

    Ah yes, the last 2 posters remind me of how much better the locals speak and type the Queen’s English! You truly are nearly British and so much better than the Mainlanders, eh? Fuckwads.

  8. Anonymous says:

    Hong Kong people are the ugliest people on earth.

  9. Kutak mana says:

    Anonymous/
    ugliest people on Earth?
    Then, How can you prescript who are the natives and who are the gwailo?
    This city is different from a lot of cities such as NY,London, Paris etc.
    A lot of foreigners have visiting this place in every time and also leave anytime.

    In reality,the word”native” doesn’t exist in this city at first.

  10. Anonymous says:

    There is nothing special about HK. Any non-Chinese here are here because of business. The city is 90% Chinese. Some diversity. The only SE Asians are fucking “slaves” to the locals. “Asia’s World City” is a right laugh riot, ain’t it? And ugly is not just about looks. HK people are ugly inside, ugly in their hearts (if they have them) and souls.

  11. Anonymous says:

    “This city is different from a lot of cities such as NY,London, Paris etc.”
    RIGHT. Those cities are genuinely diverse and full of interesting people. Stuff ur hello kitty culture.

  12. Kutak mana says:

    But the system of this city is so complexible and huge, great and also elaborate.
    Jijitsu, someone will might believe it is a system of powerful nation.
    Public security have kept by every inhabitants of the city.
    Also cops are able to Combining used at military.
    Aka….. Huh, There are no sentences to say more.

  13. Anonymous says:

    Your English is fuckin’ terrible and your thoughts a mishmash of ill-formed defenses of this shithole of a city. I am sure that you are a local who learned the language in the HK school system.

  14. Anonymous says:

    Your English is terrible and your thoughts gibberish. You are surely a product of the HK school system.

  15. Kutak mana says:

    You have maybe fucked by every people of This city and you’re just idiot and you have dead by tummy burst.
    Haha

  16. Kutak mana says:

    Me? Product of this HK school system……?
    I think your comment is right.
    Because the evidence is writer of this post.
    At now, This dude have no pocket money for purchase food even junk.
    Because the wealth have built at once.
    Dude or you Anonymous.. Nah~
    Let’s set the flower on your hair.

  17. Chris G says:

    Its small point. I’ll try to be as delicate as possible. If any of you are thinking of relocating to a country where English is the first language. Its worth bearing in mind that the UK, USA, Canada, Australia or New Zealand etc already or plan on requiring new immigrants to show they have some competence in the language. Both in its spoken and written forms. So if you planning on exporting your talents and enhancing the diversity of those nations even further can I make a suggestion?

    Find a tutor who can teach English using correct grammar from the very basic level.
    Then cunting study it

  18. Anonymous says:

    Everything wrong with this place can be summed up in that first pic of the broad looking up into the camera from her squat over her basket.
    One can almost smell her radish breath through the screen.

  19. Anonymous says:

    “Then cunting study it” LOL!
    Hey, this just in… Free fishballs for every visa applicant at the UK consulate!
    (stampede ensues)

  20. Gene Kelly says:

    Live like a rat; eat like a pig!

  21. Hear my glorious maxim, Study in UK, work out in HK.

  22. Anonymous says:

    “work out”? What, you mean like lifting weights and shit? If you studied in the UK it was at CHAV University, you twit. You are joining the ranks of the thousands in HK who claimed to have studied overseas only to seem more uneducated than the cretins working at Fairwood.

  23. GO fuck yourself and and just worry about your country, you vulva,
    You’re now meddling about our politics.

  24. Chris G says:

    Guys you cant carry on copying and pasting from google translate like this. Lets start at the beginning shall we?
    English is an Indo-European language and is a member of the Germanic group.
    It has genders, for example “She is”, He does” etc
    It has plurals, for example more than one bus becomes “buses”
    It has tenses, past present and future so for example “I was playing football but now I have to leave. I will play again tomorrow”
    Now lets all go away and come back and try harder. Next time I want you all to give me an example of a pronoun.
    .

  25. Anonymous says:

    “Politics”? You don’t even get to vote, you fucker. That’s a right laugh — SAR of Mother China talking about politics. Fucking Commies.

  26. Dan says:

    Chris Goodman the paedophile teacher.

  27. CommentorA says:

    Fuck!!!!
    Ok, To summed up my comment simply.
    Anonymous/
    The most important point of this urban is it’s banking herb.
    Banking, military,politic,security etc
    are special cases that must be demarcated.
    “You dont get even vote”…. Please when you write article for criticise someone, complete your phrase or sentences more embody such as “Vote or democracy” “human right”etc.

  28. CommentorA says:

    Chris G/
    oh, if you get a chance to teach us,
    Wish you taught us also British slangs.
    The tasty, aromatic ingredients of populaces!!!!!

  29. CommentorA says:

    Anonymous/
    Get the fuck, you bloody head cutter bitch bla bla…… Shet!!!
    Your father is headcutter and you are ownerless dog must be fucked.
    To describe the terrible view of mirror of yourself,
    The media broadcasted shitty things,
    Hit-chart bought by your wealth make me vomit to the fresh land.
    And eat shit, you’ll shitting if you
    inserted rubbish into your mouth.

    Kuso yanomo, It’s full of shits even the water in the bottle in front of you.

  30. CommentorA says:

    If the British royal copyright have existed, also Mandarin copyright is existed.
    Long time ago, we’ve fighted and murderd by knifes and weapons.
    But in nowadays, our common weapon is brain.
    Unfortunately, there are no way to find you are anonymous and you’re whites or hoodwinked child by chocolates or sweets in somewhere of disputed areas.

  31. CommentorA says:

    But nevermind.
    Shits will be gathered with shits at abbey of sewage.

  32. CommentorA says:

    New word for everyone in here-
    cult

  33. Anonymous says:

    Your written English is delightfully Burroughs-like. There is a childish, dreamlike quality to your broken English that I find captivating. I truly wish that a sequel to the comedy Borat was planned as I am sure that there would be some role in that project for you. And in the meantime I want you to go back to helping the trolls who pen pieces in the Global Times write their nonsense.
    ” Please when you write article for criticise someone, complete your phrase or sentences more embody such…”
    THANK YOU for the grammar lesson. Now I understand clearly.
    “Your father is headcutter and you are ownerless dog must be fucked.”
    Yes, yes, indeed. Bully! We must fuck all ownerless dog…or shoot and cook them as the dirty, filthy Communists do.
    Seriously, you could speak perfect English and you’d still be too stupid and brainwashed to understand the humour of this fine, fine site. I am 100% positive that you are a Mainlander ’cause even the most obnoxious and arrogant local would have more of a sense of humour than yourself.

  34. Chris G says:

    Plurals, tenses and genders guys. Its not rocket science. Honestly once you understand them you are over halfway there.

  35. Anonymous says:

    Thanks for the grammar lesson Chris. Oh, by the way, It’s “it’s not rocket science.” Once you understand that you’ll be halfway there.

  36. Chris G says:

    Thanks you are wonderful whoever you are. By the way its “by the way, its not rocket science” (no capitals after a comma) although I realise that was probably a typo on your part. As opposed to the retarded cunts above. Lets face it, they couldn’t string a comprehensible sentence together in English if their lives depended on it.

  37. Anonymous says:

    What’s your problem leaving out the apostrophe in contractions dude? It’s “it’s” and “Let’s” you know? But, yeah, you’re right. let’s get back to hating on HK ’cause that’s why I love this site as much as I hate this city.

  38. Gweiloeye says:

    Calm down people. Ignore the ignorant uneducated 50 centers. Grammer aside, I think you will find the topic of this particular post is actuaIly “I hate Hong Kong because…….” of horrible little mainland chinese who are more interested in shopping for toothpaste to keep those ever so beautiful straight teeth so pearly white, rather than I hate HK people..If you want that topic turn the page 🙂

  39. Rainbow says:

    Still laughing about “radish breath” from Anonymous. XD

  40. Dina Post says:

    HILARIOUS. I really enjoyed the blog and the comments. I’m sorry for your pain but thanx for the laughs….it sounds hideous but funny as hell if you have enough distance. some great lines…yeah ‘radish breath’ also cracked me up 🙂

  41. Mattstar says:

    Chris G, I love it! Have you noticed how even official signs from government and authorities are sometimes unintelligible? The failure of HK people to know any English unless they have spent years abroad (and actually socialised with non HK Chinese people whilst there) combined with the fact that Cantonese is a vanishing language is going to leave this place in a tight spot.

  42. Anonymous says:

    “CY antoinette says:
    January 2, 2015 at 9:22 pm
    GO fuck yourself and and just worry about your country, you vulva,
    You’re now meddling about our politics.”

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA…. the best comment (obviously made by a cunt) was…. you vulva. This is so amusing.

  43. Anonymous says:

    I was born here, I didn’t like it at all, but I will never relate pigs to humans like that. Your fuckin insults are no more than racism. So there’s pollution, maybe a lot. So there’s annoying mainlanders. But you should not point out every fuckin’ bad thing about this place and leave out the good points. Fyi I went to a international school.

  44. The Contrarian says:

    @ Anonymous,

    Yes, Dudley is racist and he is racist only here.

    But out there in the real world, almost all HKers treat ethnic minorities like sub-human. They have to endure the pain in the real world.

    Beside what Dudley is saying is in fact true. We Hong Kongers do live like a rat and eat like a pig.

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