Circular Queuing & Bindling

Mindless lemmings

Mindless lemmings

Back in my day, if you wanted to collect glamour and fashion magazines to sell to pulp recycling merchants for fistfuls of magic beans, you’d scour the city on foot, from end to end, squirreling away your paper stuffs and other people’s trash in your makeshift bindle. When you got tired from all the trampin’, you’d slump in an alley, passout in a hobo park or go and hide under a rat infested bridge with one eye closed and the other eye on your precious bindle.

But it doesn’t work like that in Hong Kong. In Hong Kong, it’s much more orderly and practical. All you have to do is join a circular queue and recycle yourself to the head of it over and over again, collecting as much sweet, sweet paper as you can. Talk about practical! This plush setup is a scavenger’s dream. Not only are your scrounging needs conveniently localised, but the mint condition fashion magazines are laden with ink – their weight attracting anybody who isn’t above looking totally ridiculous by going around and around and around on the same 10 square metre spot like a human lemming, filling up a bag one magazine at a time.

Hong Kongers are super practical. Just ask one. They won’t be able to agree fast enough. The proof is in the circular queuing I suppose. We never would have thought of a circular queuing magazine scam like that back when I was a panhandler, tin can collector and street recyclist, though. We weren’t practical enough. We mooched our scraps the hard way.

Me back in my bindling days

Me back in my bindling days

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9 Responses to Circular Queuing & Bindling

  1. Don Quixote says:

    WTF is this??? I can’t understand this society at all… What could be lower than doing this…

  2. Sweetandsour says:

    Speaking of queues, the supermarket queues amuse me. The couples that split and line up in two queues, and then transfer their trolly to the fastest moving one. Get a life you tossers.

    If youre standing in front of me empty handed, it’s going to stay like that. I aint letting your trolley in!

  3. paperscab says:

    I love this blog. After 10 years in this human landfill I agree with everything you say.

  4. Two Wongs says:

    While this behavior can and should be ridiculed, it also is kind of sad. Think what miserable lives these people lead in this doomed city. Anyone with a foreign passport should thank their lucky stars they can leave while these miserable fuckers are left behind to go down with a sinking ship. Or at least I hope so – we certainly don’t need them emigrating to our countries and bringing their fucked up ‘culture’ and ‘values’ with them.

  5. Jojo says:

    I ve been here for 3 years already. 2 more years and I’m out of this horrible place, come what may… The only thing that disturbs me more than HK is the thought that this mindset could be exported to the rest of the planet. It s scary… I m secretly hoping that this whole greedy/materialistic system collapses under its own weight before it contaminates the rest of the world.

  6. Two Wongs says:

    @JoJo – amen brother. If all goes well I’ll be packing my bags six months from now.

    The party’s over. The writing’s been on the wall for a long time. You don’t want to be the last sad expat in HK. With the property market at stratospheric levels, it’s time to get liquid and get gone, if you can. Good luck to you.

  7. Chris G says:

    But how will you all manage without domestic helpers?

  8. Chris G says:

    I doubt whether you will be able to take them with you where ever you decide to go.

  9. Matty says:

    when i leave i am going to leave with 2 wonderful child carers. they cant wait to get out of this racist poluted phoney swap either.

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