Democracy Comes to Hong Kong!

Yay democracy!

Hurray democracy!

China’s going to crack. You can just feel it. It’s 1967 again all over…the Summer of Love baby! The streets are alive with the sound of hope and change. Ignorance has turned to bliss, selfishness to generosity…boorishness to downright pleasantness. It’s totally groovy, man. Any day now that communist maggot, CY Leung, will step down, Beijing will roll over like a frail old man trying to get some sleep and Hong Kong will get what it’s heart desires…what every man woman and child has always desired and cherished…glorious, glorious democracy. Democracy. It’s far out, brother.

Never mind what the haters say. Hater’s gonna hate, ah huh. Never mind that the Chinese media has given our mega love-in a total of 6 seconds air time and totally misrepresented it or that ‘netizens’ there have been beside themselves with sanctimonious glee over these comments highlighting western media hypocrisy:

Currently the #1 trending microblog post on Chinese microblog platform Sina Weibo, with over 60k upvotes, 110k forwards/reshares, and 25k comments, by British academic, John Ross…

@JohnRoss431: It’s inconvenient for me to comment on Hong Kong’s 2017 Chief Executive general election issue, because I’m not Chinese after all. However, Western media reports on the Hong Kong issue have been too hypocritical. In the United Kingdom’s 150 years of colonial rule over Hong Kong, the UK never permitted Hong Kongers to elect the Governor, and the United States did not protest against the UK for it either. Now when the system designed by China for Hong Kong is far more democratic than that allowed by the UK, the United States instead strongly protests against the China’s government.

We don't need this kind of negativity

We don’t need this kind of negativity

.

And never mind the thouands and thousands of supportive replies and comments like these:

深海一细沙: After you go back to your country, people are definitely going to say you’ve been brainwashed by the Chinese, hehe, but I support your fair and objective comment. Those troublemakers in the Hong Kong SAR should be punished through lawful means. The SAR government departments should firmly pursue legal liability against the troublemakers in accordance with the law.

晓辰:Haha, this laowai is perceptive/insightful! Although in the minority, he has hit the nail on the head, seeing things more clearly than many Hong Kongers…

许聃_Ender: I really don’t understand, why are there so many people who support the fenqing-ism of Hong Kong students? Their American father has fattened up ISIS, and their British mother can’t even deal with Scotland. A bunch of children who haven’t even grown all their public hair wanting to cause a disturbance? Laughable!

夏天michaelia:Wanting democracy is no cause for blame, but those saying the UK wanted to give Hong Kong democracy a long time ago were it not for mainland pressure need to shut up. Go look at when China and the UK began their talks and when the British colonial government of Hong Kong proposed giving Hong Kongers democracy. Are you people really that naive? If they sincerely and genuinely wanted to give democracy, why didn’t they give it earlier, or has British democracy not been around long enough? I respect every person who fights for democracy, but despise those who deliberately whitewash British imperialism.

悠林林976:Hong Kong, you spineless cunt, back when your parents were being insulted/humiliated by Western nations, you were taken away to be slaves, and instead of doing your best to resist, you actually thought it was great. Your parents worked hard to finally bring you back and you instead spend every day looking down on your parents, constantly cursing them, calling them cunts, and when they don’t agree to your unreasonable demands, you threaten that you want to go back to being a slave dog. This kind of trollish argument definitely won’t work, and I hope the central government will adopt unyielding measures.

改个名这么难呀:If there are any Hong Kong friends [people] here, please pass this on. If there is anyone in the Mongkok Nathan Road area, I don’t oppose your peaceful protest, but can you guys please keep it down and not use loudspeakers? Brother [referring to self] has an early shift tomorrow. Otherwise, I’m going to piss out the window. [怒] So annoying.

Don't bring down our feel good buzz

Don’t bring down our feel good buzz

.

Hong Kong doesn’t need this kind of negativity or difference of opinion right now, man. We are marching for democracy and it feels good and if it feels good…we’re gonna do it! We don’t need no bum rap, sister. What we need is good, honest, hard working, fair and just individuals who want to contest true democratic Chief Executive Elections in 2017…and we want them to stand up right now…that’s right…go ahead and stand up right now and lay your campaign on us. Get those gums a flappin’ and chins a rappin’ and hit us with your slogans for election soul brothers and sisters. Put ’em together ladies and gentlemen…let’s hear it for…

.

Soul Brother Jimmy

Jimmy Wong

Slogan: Vote for me and I’ll get mainlanders the fuck out

Whoah, Jimmy…them sure are fightin’ words…pretty direct…but we really like it!

.

Soul Sister Yan

Slogan: A vote for me is a vote for tighter mainland entry stipulations.

Slogan: A vote for me is a vote for tighter mainland entry stipulations.

Sing it to me sister!

.

Little J. Wong

Slogan: Vote for me and I'll single handedly catch and exterminate every last locust

Slogan: Vote for me and I’ll single handedly catch and exterminate every last locust with my bare hands.

All the way with Little J!  😉

.

Dr Lee

1Vote for me and I'll restrict the entry of so many mainland scum you'll never get stabbed in the eye with an umbrella again

Slogan: Vote for me and I’ll force so many restrictions on the number of mainlanders on our streets you’ll never get stabbed in the eye by an umbrella again.

Well, we’re just gonna have to call you Dr Feelgood! We like it Doc! We like it a lot.

.

Gasmask Gary

Slogan: Vote for me and I'll build an army, invade southern China and turn off all the factories that are choking the life out of our city.

Slogan: Vote for me and I’ll build an army, invade southern China and shut down all the factories that are choking the life out of our city.

Holy shit, Gary, why didn’t anyone think of this before. We love it.

.

Mr Long

Slogan: Vote for me and I'll slash the amount of years a double income family needs to work from 1345 years to something more realistic

Slogan: Vote for me and I’ll stop cold massive influxes of mainland home buyers driving residential property prices out of the reach of local HK families. Vote for me and you may even be able to rent a home without having to pay off gangsters and loan sharks.

You have our total support.

.

Soul Brother Chan

Slogan: No shit. No piss.

Slogan: No piss. No shit.

Thank you…Jesus thank you.

.

Soul Sister Kathy Wong

Slogan: Vote for me and I'll make residencey rights through birth for mainland mothers illegal and punishable by up to 400 years in prison.

Slogan: Vote for me and I’ll make residency rights through birth for mainland mothers illegal and punishable by up to 400 years in prison.

Harsh but fair, Kathy, harsh but fair.

.

.Soul Brother George

Slogan: I'll do what it takes to keep mainlanders OUT and return the standard of living that they have robbed from us. Vote for me.

Slogan: I’ll do whatever it takes to keep mainlanders heavily restricted and return the standard of living that they have robbed from us…starting with a Suitcase Shopping Gestapo. I’ll make it illegal to haul a suitcase that contains anything but your travel luggage. Mainlanders buying milk powder, chemist products, shitting in the street, hoarding or crowding will be shot on sight. Vote for me.

Music to our ears George.

.

Soul Brother Harry

Slogan: Vote for me and I'll brind a brand of democracy to HK so fair even Philippino maids will be treated as human beings.

Slogan: Vote for me and I’ll bring a brand of democracy to HK so fair that even Filipino maids will be treated as human beings.

Vote for me and I'll ensure that ethnic minorities including Pakistani, Nepalese and Sri Lankan communities are not treated with callous disdain.

Vote for me and I’ll ensure that ethnic minorities including the Pakistani, Nepalese and Sri Lankan communities are not treated with callous, racist disdain.

Vote for me and I will put an end to systematic discrimination where designated schools mostly enrol ethnic minorities in order to keep more 'local' schools pure.

Vote for me and I’ll put an end to systematic discrimination whereby certain designated schools mostly enrol ethnic minorities in order to keep more local schools ‘pure’.

Vote for me and I'll put an end to the shameful use of belittling, stereotypical and racist textbooks in HK schools!

Vote for me and I’ll put an end to the shameful use of belittling, stereotypical and racist textbooks in HK schools!

Ok...fuck it...vote for me and I'll kick the Chinaman so hard in the ass he won't sit for a year, let alone consider lobbing into our city to buy armfuls of chemist supplies.

Ok…fuck it…vote for me and I’ll kick the Chinaman so hard in the ass he won’t sit for a year, let alone consider lobbing into our  wonderful world city like the dirty disgusting locust he most definitely is, eyes glazed over…one thing on his mind…to buy fistfuls of chemist supplies, assorted trinkets and other meaningless trash.

Fuck yeah!

Fucking A!

 

Oh yeah! We like this democracy thing…we like it a lot. The only problematic thing about democracy is which awesome candidate to choose?! They all share a similar policy platform…there’s a common thread to their vision for the future. They are all so good. Anyway, that’s what true democracy is all about isn’t it…the pleasure of quality choice…the smorgasboard of excellent options at your fingertips. Nothing can go wrong once we have democracy. These Commie pricks won’t stand a chance once we elect the right man for the job and let him clean up this shithole.

Get the fuck out you dirty locusts

Get the fuck out you dirty locusts

Peace!

The British guy is an overweight white slob. The Swedish are blonds yodeling in the fjords with their cuckoo clocks. The grinning South African kid looks like an extra from the Cosby Show. The Australian Aborigine is some paint-covered cannibal with a bone through his nose. The book’s authors actually have no idea what Brits, Swedes, South Africans or Australian Aborigines look like, any more than they can get their head around a British street cleaner or a Filipino airline pilot. The cartoon white kid (tall nose) has a baseball cap; the brown kid (thick lips) has tribal tattoos and probably a collection of shrunken heads.

The British guy is an overweight white slob. The Swedish are blonds yodeling in the fjords with their cuckoo clocks. The grinning South African kid looks like an extra from the Cosby Show. The Australian Aborigine is some paint-covered cannibal with a bone through his nose. The book’s authors actually have no idea what Brits, Swedes, South Africans or Australian Aborigines look like, any more than they can get their head around a British street cleaner or a Filipino airline pilot. The cartoon white kid (tall nose) has a baseball cap; the brown kid (thick lips) has tribal tattoos and probably a collection of shrunken heads.

More hilarious info here about racist Hong Kong text books

 

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4 Responses to Democracy Comes to Hong Kong!

  1. Don Quixote says:

    Right on it! the peaceful protesters are advocating a civilized apartheid without breaking windows, yeah Hong kong is a great example of democratic values, example for humanity Hahahaha.

  2. Coco Chanel says:

    All the protestors don’t have a clue what democracy is. What’s even funnier is they don’t even realize that what they want is just another form of communism! LOL

  3. Anonymous says:

    I can’t stand these protesters.

  4. Anonymous says:

    As Chinese from mainland…I actually hope they protest longer, maybe every year? The view they are destroying their hometown is really satisfying and it also help my hometown to win the vote in gaining free trade zone (too many cites in china want to having it, competition became too heavy)

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