- Let’s have a picnic on the bus. Good idea. I have cooked food and hot tea. But won’t the powerful smell of our cooked food, the sight of us eating on the bus and the sound of our slurping and smacking mouths annoy other passengers? Hahahahaha. No way. Let’s go!
Mummy are you sure it’s ok to have a picnic on the bus? Oh darling mummy has brought some cooked food and a hot drink for your bus ride home. Mummy’s Indonesian slave…you know…the brown woman who sleeps under the sofa…helped to make it. Don’t worry. Let mummy rummage around in her bag and get it all ready for you…Ok thanks mummy.
Don’t you mind a thing my little fishball…clink and clank and scrape and slurp it all down. Dig that spoon right into every corner of that noisy metallic bowl. The louder you smack your gums together and the more often you stab that metal bowl with your metal spoon the happier mummy is. Make some noise my son!
Don’t worry about those people holding their nose at the stench of your bus picnic. Their stinging nostrils are just jealous. Smack your gums louder my little pig knuckle. Scrape and tap and clink and ting that metallic spoon all over that metallic bowl. There’s absolutely no reason at all not to.
Slurp it up. See how far you can get your head inside that bowl. Don’t miss any. I won’t mummy. Tink tink clink clank tink slurp slap.
Time for some hot tea my little dim sum. Here…let mummy get it all ready for you. Mummy why does that Indonesian sleep under our sofa? Hahaha. You don’t want her sharing your room do you? Hahaha no mummy. No way!
Mummy will pour some tea for you. You just keep eating. Keep shoveling food down your throat. I will mummy. Slap slap slurp burp chomp smack smack.
Let me feed you like an infant…even though you’re 10 years old.
There’s my little milksop. Slurp it down. Noisily. I will mummy. Slurp slurp slurp.
I’ll thank you all to mind your own business while I spoil and pamper my son with this delicious bus picnic. Recoil from my lofty self important gaze.
And off we go. Enjoying our picnic on the bus safe from the choking smog.
This post brought to you by Hong Kong neighbours with the power of PROJECTION! Voices so ridiculously loud they barge out their closed door and right in through yours! It’s almost like having them in your own living room 🙂 and no…the wailing voice doesn’t belong to someone waiting outside the lifts or in the corridor…she’s in her home…with her door shut…
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