You know you’re turning local when…

They’re having a whale of a time over at a popular HK expat forum…here’s some highlights…you know you’re turning into a HK local when…

IMG_1203

…when this looks delicious

– you see a long queue and instinctively join it in case you are missing out on something.

– you find yourself repeating ‘Take a rest’ and ‘eat’ pills when sick.

– you hit door close in the elevator before I am in the elevator myself.

– you use la on the end of sentences

– you walk your songbird to the park in your PJs.

– you stare at people, laugh, and use racial slurs

– you eat weak soup with macaroni, ham and peas for breakfast

– you spit bones onto tables

– you avoid sitting with ‘brown’ people.

– you burp loudly in public and think nothing of it.

– you spend half an hour squeezing and inspecting every orange in the supermarket while blocking everyone else from being able to get any

You enjoy queues

You enjoy queues

– you get the family to walk 4 across in the mall at turtle speed, making sure to spread out just enough to stop anyone getting past

– you say ‘black colour’

– your weekends are spent looking at a 40 ft plastic duck!

– you bring tempo packets with you for lunch and spend the entire time on your iPhone/galaxy instead of chatting with your coworkers. Only to pause to take a photo of your meal to upload on Facebook or instagram..

– you say “salmon fish” instead of “salmon”

– you love sucking your teeth, especially after a meal while you clean your teeth with a pick

– you (if you are a male) start rolling up your t shirt into a crop top when it gets too hot

– you pretend you are still a little girl acting all cute flashing a “V” sign in front of a camera…despite being an utter bitch the rest of the time

You've never given so much as a dollar to a beggar because they are dirty scum

You’ve never given so much as a dollar to a beggar because they are dirty

– the first thing you do is to take pictures when the food arrives

– you still have cute hello Kitty phone straps even though you are over 40

– you queue up for 10 hours just to see the first or last of something

– you stop suddenly at the top or bottom of escalators pondering the meaning of life

–  you think fish in restaurant display tanks look delicious as opposed to beaten and suffering in misery

– you stab people in the eyeballs with your umbrella without a care in the world

– you clean cutlery or plates in restaurants like a murderer trying to remove fingerprints from the scene of a crime

–  you cover your mouth in shame with one hand while the other digs food out of your rotten teeth with a toothpick

This looks delicious

This looks delicious

– you admit to being afraid of black people

– you realize you are consumed with hate for mainlanders and jealousy of westerners

– you can feel your mind closing in on itself tighter and tighter every day

– you think severed fish heads look like just the ticket for dinner

– you think you work hard play hard

– nature frightens you

You eat like you're being timed

You eat like you’re being timed

– you wear snow jackets in the middle of summer

– you yell as loud as you can on the phone everywhere and anywhere

– you start wearing your stressful life circumstances and the stress of the city as a badge of honour

– you line up for an hour to throw a ball through a hoop to win a promotional sized packet of chips

– you become completely oblivious

– you love Manchester United but couldn’t say what sport they played

–  you charge people to come to your wedding

–  you think Maxims cakes taste delicious

You have no idea why you're in the queue

You have no idea why you’re in the queue

– you clap your hands, jump up and down and can’t control your excitement at the sight of a bowl of soup

– you drink your beer through a straw

– you’ve stopped giggling at the ‘cum’ in official HK government wording

– you wipe every single drip of water off you after a rain cause wet and AC equals catching a cold for sure. Letting water dry naturally is also known to absorb into the skin and haunt you in your elder years with bone and joint aches.

– you’re super mentally strong and willing to work/sit at your desk in front of the computer for 15 hours straight while being unwilling to take any physical stress such as walking up a flight of stairs

– your only talent involves either using a DSLR, joystick, keyboard, mouse or phone.

– you’re a single woman who gathers with other single woman and post your weekly gatherings and dinners on Facebook to let others know you’re living a full and happy life despite being single in your 30’s

– you go to Mcdonald’s and leave the tray on the table after eating

–  the check comes at a restaurant and you and your 5 friends dive for your mobile phone calculators to split the bill to the nearest cent

– you’re playing Candy Crush in public with sound turned up as loud as your phone will go!

–  you go to Ocean Park on the weekends to see the pandas and buy fried octopus as delicious snack.

– you’re knocking down women, children, elderly and disabled to get onto MTR / or MTR platform lift.

– you’ve developed muscle atrophy from complete lack of physical activity to the point that you can’t possibly open a door.

– you enjoy your pizza topped with smoked salmon ‘fish’ and sweet corn with thousand island dressing

You get married at McDonald's

You get married at McDonald’s

– you go to ‘yum cha’ and it doesn’t make you shit through a straw half an hour later

– you call talentless local singers or actors ‘artists’

– you buy 14 packets of jumbo toilet paper and 65 boxes of tissues every three days

– you leave your shopping trolley wherever you damn well like

– you think the room is stuffy if a window is not open…in the middle of winter

– you think it’s normal to have to get a doctor’s note when you take a day off

– you list hiking and badminton as your hobbies but never go hiking and don’t own a badminton racket

You just go to the shops for toilet paper

You just go to the shops for toilet paper

– you routinely ignore armless, legless or burn victim beggars on the ground

– you wear a tracksuit that says ‘just do it’ but haven’t run since you were 12

– you enjoy having ‘gatherings’ with friends

– you stare like a vulture into other people’s shopping trolleys

– you cock your leg and fart in the presence of women mid conversation…and neither you or any of the women bat an eyelid

– you eat Cafe de Coral every morning and manage to even slurp on the bun

– you describe food that you don’t like as being ‘not delicious’

– you have 848 sachets of ketchup in your fridge, from McDonald’s. IT’S FREE!!!

You drink your beer through a straw

You drink your beer through a straw

– you have a nice comfortable seat on the bus or train!? Poor weak old lady enters!? Gawd, you’re suddenly soooooooooo tired, let’s close those eyes and take a nap!!! QUICK!!!

– the only descriptive word in your vocabulary is ‘interesting’

– When you’re almost at your bus stop and you see your bus about to take off without you, you just start running on the road in front of it while waving your arms. Who cares you might get run over!? You would have to wait a whole 5 more minutes if you can’t be on this bus!!!

–  you are absolutely germophobic. It’s ironic though cause most of the places you see locals live in are constantly dripping with AC water and reek of a constant odor.

You like crowds

You really, really don’t like mainlanders

– you used to say Bye
then started saying B’ bye
but have now moved onto a fully fledged B’ baaii

– you can’t leave home without your packet of knock-off tempos and can only buy newspaper pre-packed in a plastic bag with the knock-off tempo.

– you call for the waitress by waiving your hand and screaming “mgooooi”

– you never tip anybody and quickly collect all the change (coins included)

– you check 40 cards per visit at the ATM

– you have signs or coffee mugs on your desk that say ‘Relax, God’s in control’

– you hang out naked in the gym change room for hours on end with other decrepit old men smearing your balls over all the chairs

– you haven’t cooked anything in 10 years

– you love sugar on and in everything

– you love corn and always want more corn

– when the parties over you stand up in unison and leave

– you believe in group think

– you walk down to you local clubhouse in your slippers and with a bag of soap for your daily shower

– you dry your balls with a blow dryer at the gym locker room before dusting them with baby powder

– you go on holiday somewhere because ‘there have many delicious food’

– your favourite animals are pork, fish, chicken and beef

– you spit into rubbish bins

– you casually stroll to the toilet while the plane is taxiing

– you can’t detect the disgusting stench at the Hung Hom waterfront

– you beat your helper

– you think flip flops are strictly beach wear and are completely and utterly gobsmacked if you see them worn outside that setting

– you go all the way back home to get your shopping bag because money is too tight to pay for a 50 cent plastic bag…and just like every other person in HK you love the environment with all your heart

– you bow your head before lunch to pray to jesus after which you dig into some kind of sorry animal carcass

– you’re completely and utterly hoodwinked by Jesus

– you dive bomb corners at warp speed when driving without indicating

– you beam like a fool and keep repeating ‘new look! new look!’ when a colleague of yours wears a tie you haven’t seen before

– you wear every single fashion trend together in one outfit…

– you think the food in Cafe de Coral is western food…

– you think nobody notices that your carefully arranged hairstyle is a combover…

– you think it’s perfectly normal to constantly speak at 100 decibel (insert location) but complain when mainlanders speak loudly in public…

– McDonald’s is a crucial part of your diet

– you treat people like crap and chalk it up to culture
– you treat your mobile phone better than your helper/children
– you have no sympathy or empathy for anyone or anything
– the only type of sausage you know of is a hotdog
– you feel the need to have the latest gadgets no matter the cost
– you freak out if you hear the work ‘FUCK’
– the ringtone to your mobile phone is a fucking Eminem song
– you read a blog like this and get upset …because you have YOUR HEAD IN YOUR FUCKING ASS

– you wander in to take your seat at the movies 25 minutes after the movie’s started

– you’re a stupid dumb cunt

– you rush into the elevator before I have had a chance to get out…because you’re a stupid dumb inconsiderate selfish cunt

You blow dry your balls

You blow dry your balls

Instant cool

Instant cool

See ya

Don’t eat me

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95 Responses to You know you’re turning local when…

  1. veganwolf says:

    Reblogged this on Life of a vegan wolf. and commented:
    Transitioning….

  2. rottelsound says:

    totally agree and unwillfuly stayin here as well…surrealistic or sadomasochistic. never mind.
    we possibly like to exist with the “beast”

  3. Anonymous says:

    Brilliant! Really brilliant. Still laughing as I type this…

  4. Turnipboy says:

    Don’t forget “You walk down to you local clubhouse in your slippers and with a bag of soap for your daily shower”

  5. Ronnie Poo says:

    And, “You dry your balls with a blow dryer at the gym locker room before dusting them with baby powder”.

  6. Don Quixote says:

    Shitty, small minded laboratory rats… Hong Kong People suck and Hong Kong sucks; enough said better watch this video… I CANT TAKE IT NO MORE, IM DIVORCING AND GOING BACK TO MY BEAUTIFUL, OPEN SPACED CLEAN HOME CITY.

  7. Don Quixote says:

    You’re Turning local when you dont take a shower in the morning because you had it at night and go to work with your hair colonized with dandruff.

  8. gman says:

    what about the big gaping opened mouth yawnes and the shit smelling breath, bad teeth spittle lipped dunce looking fuckers they are and the shit head fucks who pick, roll, flick/wipe morons on buses and mtr.

  9. gman says:

    the wayward dumb dunce fucks who can’t walk straight and target you when walking towards you deliberately with shoulder forward or charges you. no manners or idea how to walk civilly pisses me off sooo much. ahhgggg.

    no respect for anyone or anything. a most hated race of cunts ever known to mankind.

    bring on the war they are instigating and wanting and wipe the shit smug looks that is on their shit coloured skin faces. cunts!

  10. Don Quixote says:

    I dont agree with racist comments, this is not a racial issue; its about bursting the bullshit bubble.

  11. There’s more bullshit than you could poke a chopstick at in HK

  12. Turnipboy says:

    You know you’re local when “You only pretend not to be racist” 🙂

  13. deutie says:

    And never hold the door for you. Well, more like they love closing doors in your face.
    And hiking with iPad, taking pictures with iPad.
    And never say sorry when they stomp on your feet or bump into you.
    And treat/see the Philippines domestic helpers like slaves/ fairground whores.

  14. JRM says:

    Don’t forget being extreamily terrified and screaming in terror when you see a tinny friendly dogs walking toward you

  15. Tasmanian Devil says:

    Just curious: I’ve seen many bad points about HK. What are the good points for you?

    And here is an idea for your next post: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HU4jjdRzy3w

  16. Chris G says:

    Heres another. You occupy a table for 4 all to yourself at Pacific or Starbuck coffee shops using laptop and study material. If anyone asks if the other 3 seats are available you tell them your friends are on their way even though you arent expecting company and want to spend the next 2 hours on social media.

  17. B says:

    I came upon this site by typing ‘I hate hong kong’ on the search engine because I got no response for ‘breaking out of HK’. Can’t believe someone is more cynical than I am. Nice to meet you.

  18. Anonymous says:

    Here are a few more I thought of in no time at all…

    – you treat people like crap and chalk it up to culture
    – you treat your mobile phone better than your helper/children
    – you have no sympathy or empathy for anyone or anything
    – the only type of sausage you know of is a hotdog
    – you feel the need to have the latest gadgets no matter the cost
    – you freak out if you hear the work ‘FUCK’
    – the ringtone to your mobile phone is a fucking Eminem song
    – you read a blog like this and get upset …because you have YOUR HEAD IN YOUR FUCKING ASS

    I fucking hate this hell hole. I feel totally fucked and get jacked at the fact that there’s nothing I can do or say to change things. Like someone else on this blog already said, the inmates are running the prison.

  19. Keep on truckin old mate

  20. Don’t forget ‘when you see someone drop all their shopping on the floor and you just stand and look at them while they pick it all up again.’ <<<< happened to me, rude people. lol. x

  21. Over worked Teacher says:

    I totally agree with all of this! I cant wait to leave!!!!! So glad to hear its not just me being negative 😀 x

  22. the_travelling_trini says:

    HILARIOUS!!! Absolutely spot on, every single one! Oh, by the way, women blow dry their pubes in the gym too.

  23. Lamboferruccio says:

    You pay your helper extra ($100) to take care of your baby on Sunday, their only day off coz you don’t want to deal with said baby on your only day off.

    You go for a stroll with the family in the mall with your helper intow pushing a stroller with your baby in it while checking FB on your phone.

    You have your helper take your kids to school carrying all their bags coz their too fucking spoilt carry it themselves…

  24. Anonymous says:

    Don’t know how many more of these can be mustarded-up, but here are some I thought of in no time at all…

    • you run in fear of your life at the sight of a mosquito or other small insect
    • every time you leave your flat, you must announce it to your neighbours by slamming your door shouting in the corridor
    • you take pleasure in seeing other people miserable (after all, better them than you)
    • you do stupid shit that you would get owned for in other cities/countries
    • you renovate your flat with a fucking a jackhammer
    • you hire an Indonesian maid because you can pay her less than a Filipino maid
    • you cut your fingernails and toenails on public transport
    • you drive as part of your profession and still haven’t figured out how to slow down when going around a fucking turn
    • you have a mountain bike and a set of golf clubs in your flat, but have never been mountain bike riding or golfing in your entire life
    • you almost get hit by a car three times a day because you’re too busy looking down at your smart phone
    • you don’t move your body and let other people sit next to you on public transport
    • you (and your whole fucking family) don’t realize how lucky you truly are and take everything and everyone for granted
    • you think you’re better than others because you have more money than them
    • you’re so ignorant that you’re happy (ignorance is truly bliss for you)
    • you’re a fucking COWARD!

    Like I said a few posts up, this place if a fucking living hell. I’m not a religious person, but I pray every day for a better life for my wife and I. I’m at a point in my life where I just hope to get through my day without being fucked with. Quite sad indeed!

  25. Lamboferruccio says:

    You act like you can’t speak English when around foreigners especially when questioned by one yet turn to your kids and speak to them in English since they speak more English than Canto coz they spend more time with your maid who actually speaks better English than you do who is probably more educated than you are too…

  26. mushroomface says:

    This is an interesting site.

    My ethnicity is Chinese. I have visited HK once, when I was a young one and came across this site when I was googling questions about China & HK. There seems to be hatred between them and I was wondering why. Your blog is similar to the views of Hong Konger’s about ‘Mainlanders’ (from what I’ve read).

    This comment made me chuckle “your favourite animal is pork, chicken, fish and beef.” haha so true with Chinese and their food.

    This is an interesting insight into what HK society is like – and the agreement of people living there (from the comments you have received).

  27. Lamboferruccio says:

    Mushroomface it’s interesting that Hong Kongers feel the same about mainlanders as westerners feel about them, coming from NY myself I have many Asian American friends some of whom are Chinese and they are not like Honkies so this is not in anyway against all Chinese people just Hong Kong people, mainlanders are another story, LOL!

  28. Anonymous says:

    Hong Kongers may be a step up from Mainlanders, but that’s not saying a whole lot.

    Facts are facts! No matter where you live or travel in the world, Chinese people take the piss. I’m truly baffled at the way they treat people (including each other). I wish someone could enlighten me without bring up that past and telling me what hard lives they’ve had. All I hear are tons of excuses…bla bla bla!

    Don’t mean to be so cynical of the Chinese people, but there’s no denying that their behavior is way out of order, and that they are some of the most arrogant, ignorant and mean-hearted people around.

    Of course, this does not apply to everyone. There are nice people, but they are few and far between.

  29. Anonymous says:

    My parents are from Hong Kong. If there your views on HK people then they are your views. Don’t worry, Lambo I’m not offended. I have seen people like this. Although I say the way you are brought up is a big influence, country for example.

    However anonymous to say ‘No matter where you live or travel in the world, Chinese people take the piss’ that is a very broad spectrum for you to generalise. In every race/culture you are bound to get arseholes and decent people.

  30. Anonymous says:

    I try my best not to generalise. I’m simply pointing out that when I’m around (groups of) Chinese people, whether in Hong Kong, the mainland or some other part of the world, I have the same bad experience. An experience filled with rude, loud, obnoxious, uncouth, and just outright disgusting behaviour. This is not me generalising, this is what I see and hear with my own two eyes and ears on a daily basis.

    To be fair, I also said – ‘Of course, this does not apply to everyone. There are nice people, but they are few and far between.

    I’m not going to debate you or anyone else on the blog, and I certainly don’t want to offend anyone. I’m just simply stating how I feel in the most honest way I know how, and on a forum that was set-up for this exact purpose. If you and others think Hong Kong and Chinese people are fine and dandy, I am truly happy for you.

  31. mushroomface says:

    Ah yes so you did. My phone didn’t show the last bit of your message anonymous!

    Don’t worry I’m not arguing – everyone is entitled to their own opinion! The other message was from me but I forgot to sign in.

  32. Mike says:

    I actually like living in Hong Kong– very much– and I find much of this list entirely accurate. What’s up with the escalator behavior? And the way people will walk directly into your path if they think it will save them 1 second? NB, that depends on the assumption that I will stop on a dime in order to avoid a collision, but that’s a service I’ve long ago stopped providing (my new assumption is that a person stepping directly into the path of a 200+ pound man doesn’t really expect to avoid a collision but rather hopes for it… And I always oblige).

  33. Clockatron says:

    You know you’re local when you find yourself inside multiple Asian girls in Soloas on a Friday night! BOOOOOOM.

  34. Anonymous says:

    I came across this when I googled HK sucks…. As a HKer I find this post “interesting” — just to play the part — and sadly, many of the remarks are not groundless. I wish they were but they are not. At least you have a home to go back to. No matter what the government says, this is a bleeding dump that’s what it is, and it feels ridiculous when the government pile on it saying HK is a cosmopolitan city.

    But then again, HK is not the worst there is… About the racist bit, it exists everywhere. The first day I spent in Sydney I got two local chaps giving me the finger because I didn’t know the way to the nearest Thai restaurant, and I got this guy telling me a joke about why Chinese women (or gooks something like that) are all slant eyed. That’s because Chinese men have small dicks and they’ll have to look really hard to find them.

    Oh if I may join in and rant a bit, here’s what I think:

    You turn local when you think working overtime is normal and holidays are meant for you to recover and go back to the torment.

  35. Anonymous says:

    you realize you turn local when you realize you are slowing transforming into a mega-ass (sounds like megatron in the Transformer).

  36. Hanna says:

    I am a solo female traveller from the UK and have been to to HK several times. Im not sure if i had my rose tinted glasses on at first but i have become so sick of the rudeness and bad manners.

    On my most recent trip i have been pushed and shunted out the way. Ignored in shops and at restaurants. I have had cigarette smoke blown in my face, grown men rush in front of me for a seat on the mtr, and deliberatley blocked from walking down the escalators as again someone didnt want me walking in front of or pass them.

    Bizarrely i went on a tour to a local food market in the new territories up near the china border. I felt i was spoken to and treated more like an actual person there than the city?!

  37. Andy says:

    Not all Hongkongers are mean, selfish, arrogant, horrible, rude and (insert further negative adjectives here), but the problem is… a lot are.

    I came here with an open mind trying to see the best, as I do everywhere. Yet as hard as I try, there are always countless daily situations to tell me otherwise.

    Nothing surprises me now in Hong Kong. And to the locals telling us to go home, I’ll ask you this… are you actually denying that this shit happens? I don’t think anyone can say it doesn’t. No where is free of rude people but it’s all about how frequently you encounter them. In Tokyo it’s about once-twice a week, in London, New York, Sydney, once-twice a day. In Hong Kong it’s once-twice every 15 minutes. Can you really say otherwise?

    And it’s not anti-Chinese either. I’ve spent time in Taiwan and generally find the people quite nice. Even PARTS of the mainland are better.

  38. Chris G says:

    Lots of reasons for this.
    Overopulation
    Dog eat dog work environment
    The principle of “saving face” in any encounters with people
    Rampant consumerism (buying the latest shit just to show off) turned into something to aspire to
    Kids completely alienated from their parents
    Inept government
    The list could go on and on

  39. Chris G says:

    Crap tv too, forgot that one

  40. CY Turtle says:

    -You refuse to lift your head when you walk because you MUST respond to a Whatsapp message

    -You would rather live the rest of your life with crooked snaggle teeth than get braces

    -You have a pram/stroller for your dog, but not your children

    -You’ve carried your cat/dog with you to a restaurant

    -You are totally incapable of walking in a straight line

    -You must stop and stare at every property agencies ads, even though you couldn’t afford a flat here with 10 life savings

    -You think its acceptable to burn red paper inside/outside of a building because your dead relatives need it to buy chips and toilet paper in the after life

    -You go to nature to escape the people and don’t realize that everyone else else in the city is there for the exact same reason

    -The only activity you do with friends is eat and get drunk

    -You are 30+ years old and live with your parents. And you see nothing wrong with it

    -You can name all of the Chinese dynasties, but not a single country in South America

    -You were unable to secure a good job in life because you didn’t prepare will enough for your primary school entrance exam

    -You can go to Causeway Bay on a Sunday and not want to murder multiple people

    -You spend more time travelling to word than you do sleeping

    -It’s your dream to live in Australia for 6 months and pick strawberries

    -You go hiking on paved “trails”

    -You spend a day at the beach and don’t touch the water because it is dirty

  41. Ronnie Poo says:

    I think Andy really sums it up well. For those of you who haven’t yet lived here more than a couple years… think seriously about staying any longer. You may, like me, be sacrificing your health due to the constant stress, frustration, and anger you may experience on a daily basis. If money is the only reason, take it from me, it’s just not worth your health. I’ve finally made arrangements to leave after 7+ years and I feel much lighter and happier knowing there is a light at the end of this tunnel.

  42. Chris G says:

    Being unable to escape to natural surroundings is a good point too. Very bad for your mental health. Due to the high population its very difficult to go anywhere where there are no other people. Even if you walk up to the summits of hill tops you have views of apartment blocks. I can understand the concrete hiking paths if there was a danger of a landslide from the wet season but for some reason the concrete gets laid in places where there is no danger at all. Then you see the locals walking round dressed up as if they are on an expedition up K2.

  43. sophie says:

    It’s funny really how you see all these things happening in Hong KOng but it’s true.
    2 Thumbs Up!

  44. Anonymous says:

    I’m a Hong Kong citizen myself. This is what I find to be very true. Especially that human wall shit – but at the same time I find that a majority of western people also do most of of what your list states. So, not necessarily a ‘Hong Kong’ thing.
    We live in the country part of HK, by the seaside. However, over in the more populated areas (Central, TST, etc.), I find what you say to be true. To be honest, I am quite disappointed in how the majority is acting, and I am disgusted by their behaviour. Though I’d be happy if you were more positive about HK, that would just defeat the purpose of your blog. You listed almost all the stereotypes outsiders have of this city, and I found it interesting to see what everybody thought.

  45. Anonymous says:

    Being a hong longer myself, I’ve been fucked up for so many years to the point that when I’m being fucked up, I thought it was myself being not tolerate enough to people.
    I am 17 and I got treated like crap for countless times. Like when I’m in highschool, I got teased by the workers in the office. They never speak in a nice way, they treat you like crap and look at you in the way as if you are the most disgusting people in the world. Ironically, when I told my bad experience to my teacher, they said Sth like, you don’t expect people to be kind to you, it’s your problem if you can’t stand bad attitudes. Wtf, so I have to expected being scolded every time? Fucking ungrateful Hong Kong people.

  46. End of HK says:

    Sometimes,we need dude.(not means idiot like dudley dawson). But first of all, our first enermy is Anonydick.

  47. End of HK says:

    It’s so sad that autistiques like Anonymous, wong , dudley dawson etc called dudes.

  48. 林白 says:

    End of HK, I am the Anonydick who post on March 30, 2014 at 3:12 am, my post is just upon you. If you are referring to me, I wanna say it’s not me purposely make myself Anonymous. It’s just I dont have the habit to show my name because I dont expect to get to know any of the people here. All i want is just drop a comment, express myself and leave. If you disagree with me, please refer to my opinion instead of my Anonymous.

  49. End of Hk says:

    By the way, Anonymous. Where are you,Bitch?

  50. End of Hk says:

    Anonymous, You’ve just rapped my comments.

  51. Anonymous says:

    End of HK, are you okay? By 林白

  52. Anonymous says:

    I Agree with most of the things you’ve mentioned. However, a lot of the comments u had such as “HK people don’t know any other kind of sausages other than hotdogs”/ “you’re completely and utterly hoodwinked by Jesus”/ “you think the food in Cafe de Coral is western food” etc. just showed how white washed you are, honestly, if u’ve been to other Asian countries,like Japan things like these are pretty common, and i dont hear people complain about Japs like that (obviously they are a lot more popular among white people compared to Chinese in general). Just because your mom and dad have enough money to give u an education in the US/ UK/ Canada does not mean that u can talk down on Hong Kong people like a white dude. I know the locals are inferior and stupid, but you yourself is also an ignorant, egotistic, non-white motherfucker, chinks with slanted eyes.

  53. End of Hk says:

    Hey, Anonymous! What’s the point that Hong kong is white dude? Hong kong is just comfort woman of UK.

  54. End of Hk says:

    Oh, I don’t know that White dude say” lay hao, lame hao?” Filipino whores in now are Cantonese whores in past.

  55. End of Hk says:

    The people who can understand Hong kongers are maybe people live in Shenzhen and Gangzhou, etc. Japanese can’t understand Hong kongers. Also Filipino can’t understand Hong kongers. Chinese and British people too. As a British subject, Hong kong is one of a lot of colonies in past. Also don’t know reason why British dudes give so lots of computers to Honkers.

  56. End of Hk says:

    Hong kong.. Destiny of Asia is in the hand of idiot. Hong kong is also proof to why Asians have extincted.

  57. End of Hk says:

    Hey, Anonymous! what? Non- Asian motherfucker? and chinks? Hey, Anonymous! non-Asian motherfuckers and Chinks etc everyone on Earth are better than Hong kong even Bacterias on your body.

  58. 三正 says:

    香港人= Whore, liar and shit.

  59. End of Hk says:

    Anonymous, now you are losing the control of your whole soul. hehe

  60. End of Hk says:

    Ok, 三正 is me, Have hong kongers taught prostitution from British dude? Have they taught eat food with fork and knife from British dude?

  61. Chris G says:

    Gort,

    Klaatu Barada Nikto

  62. Anonymous says:

    ponacsponac?! ##00$$%.

    very weird.

  63. End of Hk says:

    Hey, Anonymous!By saw your comment, You may be pure Cantonese. Not French hybrid. If my surmise is wrong, you may be from other Asian countries. But whether where you come from is our secret. Oh since so,

  64. End of Hk says:

    a yeah, Hung kung run shi zun du mugou.

  65. Anonymous says:

    I is Hybrid ET canto trash.
    ##!!xx@@** is “pure” canto language. #@**! thank you.

  66. End of Hk says:

    Anonymous,no people balme Japan in here except you. It also means you come from a Asian nation invaded by Japan. Oh, yes! Hong kong people also don’t like Japan very much. To say positive about it, include to Singapore this JHS nations have a lot of common points with UK and always wanna be British dudes. Japan was also a British dude 100 years ago. But don’t know reason why they been so childish in many parts such as Manga. People in Singapore are more polite than Hong kongers.

  67. 4ch says:

    Hello, Anonymous!

  68. Fanny Poon says:

    End_of_Hk, while we all appreciate the passion and liveliness that you bring to this conversation, I regret to inform you that your English language skills are so lacking that we haven’t the slightest clue what you are trying to say. Perhaps you should just stick to writing in Chinese and we’ll stand more of a chance of deciphering you psychobabble.

  69. End of Hk says:

    Let’s extend I said. Can’t understand the Hong kong people always say negative words and behave like such pathetic losers. Inferiority complex is usual in their life. The”Moron TV”is famous channel in Hong kong during the British domination.

  70. End of Hk says:

    First of all, I wanna write a comment without the hack and crack of Anonymous. Turn to main subject, go on talking about HK suck. Hong kong people don’t use logographs while they speaking English. Logograph is important point of both English and Chinese. Hong kong society is so unsanitaional. The cue”UK and HK” is same as a toilet in the kitchen.

  71. Fanny Poon says:

    Sorry, you still don’t make any fucking sense. What language do you speak natively on your home planet?

  72. End of Hk says:

    Fanny poon, Just guess where I come from by yourself. Your true name is may be Anonymous. But may be my home planet is same to your country.

  73. End of HK says:

    Hong kong people are ignorant enough for dominated by UK. And they are too stupid to understand UK. That’s all I can say.

  74. Jasmine says:

    End of HK sounds like a jealous mainlander.

  75. Fanny Pongo Chan says:

    I cannot turn local because my birth parents are human.

  76. Gxw says:

    @Cyturtle
    -You refuse to lift your head when you walk because you MUST respond to a Whatsapp message
    As if anywhere else is any better. It’s not a Hong Kong problem, It’s a global problem that’s spreading through the technological community.

    -You would rather live the rest of your life with crooked snaggle teeth than get braces
    I’m sorry that we have a right to choose what do do with our own bodies.

    -You have a pram/stroller for your dog, but not your children
    Ever considered that we do?

    -You’ve carried your cat/dog with you to a restaurant
    Hong Kong is cold, both in heart and in mouth. Carry it in, carry it out. Doesn’t work? A good kick in the ass for the owner would do the trick. Look around you, these things do happen.

    -You are totally incapable of walking in a straight line.
    Cute. Try not to bump into the various stalls that are blocking the streets and the crowded conditions of the streets while you walk in a 180 degree lines, alright, sweetie?

    -You must stop and stare at every property agencies ads, even though you couldn’t afford a flat here with 10 life SAVINGS
    I’m soooooo sorry that some of us cannot afford things and would rather look at the prices, so we may be able to be informed on the latest economy surrounding property.

    -You think its acceptable to burn red paper inside/outside of a building because your dead relatives need it to buy CHIPS and toilet paper in the after life
    Religious fucking reasons, dumb arse.

    -You go to nature to escape the people and don’t realize that everyone else else in the city is there for the exact same reason
    So terribly sorry for enjoying nature.

    -The only activity you do with friends is eat and get drunk
    Okay, I’ll put that on my list, right under “applicable to every single fucking country.”

    -You are 30+ years old and live with your parents. And you see nothing wrong with it
    Chinese culture states that children are the take care of their parents. Many Chinese people live with their parents in order to provide for them in old age.

    -You can name all of the Chinese dynasties, but not a single country in South America
    You try. *Ahem* miss teen USA, *Ahem* 2007, *Ahem* Miss south Carolina *Ahem* map question.

    -You were unable to secure a good job in life because you didn’t prepare will enough for your primary school entrance exam
    You want me to make a note under “Every single fucking country ever” again? Studies are a serious part of Chinese culture.

    -You can go to Causeway Bay on a Sunday and not want to murder multiple people
    Sorry that we have more tolerant lifestyle choices.

    -You spend more time TRAVELLING to word than you do sleeping
    How specific it is to be able to gossip more than sleeping. I’m totally sure that no other ethnicity does this.
    -It’s your dream to live in Australia for 6 months and pick strawberries
    Wonderful idea, right after securing a job, raising families, supporting parents in old age, and you know, actually having OTHER dreams.
    -You go hiking on paved “trails”
    They’re there because we have hikers.

    -You spend a day at the beach and don’t touch the water because it is dirty
    Stop looking at your computer, pick yourself up, wear your fucking sandals and take a look at the water during summer.

  77. Anonymous says:

    The ultimate telltale sign of when you’re turning HK? When you offer up kneejerk defenses for HK bullshit behavior. You are a local with a slightly better grasp of written English than your compatriots. Bully for you wannabe Brit!

  78. Chris G says:

    Plenty of countries have hiking trails and hikers they just see the need to cover the trail in frigging cement

  79. Chris G says:

    typo issue I meant they dont see the need

  80. Sweetandsour says:

    I have to use aircon in the winter, in an attempt to drown out the noise from the selfish furniture dragging, basketball bouncing, piano playing pricks upstairs. I cant handle this town. Enough.

  81. Anonymous says:

    There all cunts

  82. deleted says:

    Lazy uneducated morons without any manners ,unable to learn new skills just want to smoke all day. Get pissed at night. I feel so sorry for the kids they would be better off with there domestic helpers then there parents

  83. Pingback: Last Thoughts On Hong Kong | Hong Kong Sucks

  84. Anonymous says:

    Wow, that’s a heated up thread right here…

    let me give my 10 cents as a driver in Hong Kong.

    You know when you’re turning local when you…

    – Never use your indicator.
    – Indicate right when you’re turning left.
    – Indicate left when you’re turning right.
    – Keep indicating on a highway for several kilometers and never change lane.
    – Don’t have a clue about the rules of a roundabaout and think you can turn right or left from any bloody lane (without indicating, of course).
    – Drive at night with every damn head lamp in your car on (headlights, foglights, pimplights, shitlights… bloody everything on despite the fact that HK streets and highways are all well lit up and there’s hardly any fog).
    – Drive at night with full beam on and don’t give a shit whether you may be dazzling other drivers.
    – Drive like an absolute idiot, or an absolute maniac.
    – Don’t give way to anybody (including pedestrians).
    – Slow down for no apparent reason, blocking every body else behind you.
    – Park 20 meters from the curb.
    – Park in diagonal to the curb.
    – Park with one or both tyres on the curb.
    – Park anywhere, anytime in any situation, even if you are going to block someone else. Who gives a fuck, right?
    – Will accelerate the car to tailgate the car in front should you see somebody indicating to change to the lane you’re on and block their way. Why should I give you a few meters of space in front of my car… I AM ALWAYS FIRST!!! This is particular of truck, van and taxi drivers. They are such cordial “professional” drivers, aren’t they?
    – Drive a container lorry at 100 Km/h in Tuen Mun Highway (speed limit 70/80 Km/h) and race other cars with a huge 10 – 20 Ton lorry. (I have actually seen a container lorry taking a sharp bend in Tuen Mun Highway doing over 100 Km/h and the container tipping to the side as he took that bend – HOLY SHIT!!!!).
    – Drive while talking on the mobile phone. (Well, people do it in many countries… although it is illegal).
    – Drive while texting on the phone. (Only absolute cunts will do it…)
    – Drive while BROWSING FACEBOOK! (I swear to God I have never seen people doing this nowhere else! – I saw a few people actually doing this in HK with my own eyes, in shock, horror and disbelief).

    There’s more, but these are the most obvious ones.

  85. Anonymous says:

    Just to add to my previous post on driving in HK, I must add that some of the worst offenders in almost every single mindless shit you see when drving in HK are the so called “professional drivers”, taxi, van and minibus drivers. They are simply appalling drivers. To put it plain and simple, driving in HK is on a good day like combat training, and on a bad day your worst nightmare. HK people drive like a bunch of cockroaches which have been doused with pesticide (some will make a mad dash, others will stop and contemplate the meaning of life). The traffic layout is pathetic and the road markings were planed by utter cunts. Driving in HK tells you a great deal about the Turd of the Orient and how competent, generous, sensible and clever their inhabitants are.

  86. Anonymous says:

    @Gxw.

    First of all, this blog is about the dreadful experiences that we expats endure in this shithole of yours. Whether you “Are in agreeing” or not, like you shitheads say, is completely irrelevant to us. I am sick and tired of this, you, and your shitty culture, under which you’re always ready to excuse yourselves and shelter your abhorrent attitudes and behaviour. AND YET, you’re all too ready, and desperate, to take advantage of OUR education system by means of attaining a half-arsed degree in USA or UK (mostly) because you in fact cannot have real access to serious research and quality education in this wasteland of your culture.

    I am married to a HK chinese woman (obviously not an idiot like you) and know all too well the ridiculous hypocrisy which underlines your family dissimulation, within the context of your monolithic and morass culture.

  87. IndonesianInHongKong says:

    Just would like to add a few more to the list:
    – you think ALL Indonesian women (or other South-East Asian looking women) are whores and/or domestic workers. If an Indonesian woman says she’s a lawyer or anything else then she must be either delusional, lying, or both.
    – you think ALL white people are great English teachers. In your simple mind, there is NO WAY non-white people can be qualified to teach English (“my son’s English teacher is a drug addict but who cares??!!! he’s white and he’s got British accent!!!”)
    – you don’t say “sorry” or “excuse me” when somebody blocks your way. Instead you will just get upset and push yourself against that person. Not your fault they can’t read your mind!!!

  88. Pingback: Surviving the Madness (or How to Not Be an Asshole) | Big City Nights

  89. Noodle vortex says:

    So true, I thought I was the only one who cannot stand these fucks.
    I’ve got one
    “When you grow your pinky finger for the sole purpose of picking your nose or ear, or any other bodily orifice, usually in public”

  90. Anonymous says:

    dont forget..singapore also same.

  91. bored of shit island says:

    -you know you are going local when you start believig superstitious shite about food / medicine / feng shui / baby care etc. etc.
    -you have gone even more lical when you start advising people on the hocus pocus e.g. dobt eat watermellon when you are pregnant cos babys head will be too big to come out / throw away the colostrum before breastfeeding cos it looks dirty…despite all medical advice and studies

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