Desperately Seeking…your credit card…

Good evening Hong Kong lovers. Welcome to this special Valentine’s Day edition of Hong Kong Sucks!

Can you feel the love? I sure can. I’ve felt a sense of closeness, community and warmth among all Hong Kongers in the days leading up to the 14th of February. As hard as that is to believe in this dog eat dog city, I have written proof. Take a look at the following heartfelt personal ads I’ve collected from some well known websites.

These personal ads are untouched…unedited. I really think they show what lies in the heart of all Hong Kongers, particularly the humble Hong Kong woman.

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I’m a dead ringer for Burt Reynolds…but whiter.

I Stick With My Own
 
I stick with my own kind and I know I just have to chose wisely. I am a HK born woman. I am quite pretty with slim shape. I am looking for a financial very secured, handsome, very good one woman white gentleman for marriage. You CAN do what I need and want. You are gentle, caring , good and very nice. You can love me and you do not tend to hurt me and disappoint me. I hate being cheated. I hope you can bring a great marriage for me with all fine things. You have never been married with no kids. I am not looking for a drinker or smoker who hang out at the bars often. There is nothing out of this topic and post what I am looking for indeed. I have been living and traveling to different places. I am not seeking any married or attached men. I am not playing games and asking for any cheating games indeed. I am not looking for BS and I am not a woman who enjoy all BS. Please send your pic, tell me about yourself with no BS.
 
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 Dear Stick With My Own,

Hi, I’m Rich. I look like Burt Reynolds…but whiter. I read your message of love with tears in my eyes. Never have a I heard such eloquent beauty…such heart…such specific demands. Reading your words, I couldn’t help but imagine how your voice would sound as my wife…every day…for the rest of my life…until I die. I think this could really work…no BS.

Let’s stick together,

Richard Money

What’s my net worth is your net worth

HK Princess Seeks A Perfect Caucasian Gentleman – Beautiful Marriage
 
I am a true pretty HK beauty who has lived and traveled overseas. I hope I might meet a very nice handsome gentleman for our beautiful marriage and develop a family together very soon. I am quite good looking in slim shape; heathly and DD free. I am not the 10 but I could be the 9 in the room when I dress up. I like to dress up classy to casual. I am looking for a very nice man with actions for our happy, golden and beautiful marriage very soon and develop a family together, you can do good things for me with good actions. I do enjoy peaceful and quite good times in clean and nice places with good views. I drink socially once in a while, just a couple glasses of wine and beer. I know that if a man loves a woman then you are willing to do things for me in reality with good actions. I prefer to have marriage and develop a family with whom is not a heavy drinker, smoker or drug users. You are not a man into bars’ sense very much. You are with all fine things for marriage and develop a family; you would like to have our own beautiful baby in the coming future so we can play with him or her. You are with clean cut and smart look in your 30s-40s years old who is gentle and nice, very trust worthy, one woman man, good looking , single, romance, caring, healthy and fit,, clean, DD free. You can take great care of a woman with all respect in every aspect. You can issue the no limit black cards and expensive membership cards and toys for me; share your net worth. You are easy to talk to but also serious. You can respect and appreciate a woman’s values by being with you. You can care for me in all aspects and love me. You can do what I need and want with fast and good actions. Fine dining out, drinks, shopping, travel to different places, live in, going out together, etc. Chemistry and attraction has to be there. Please send your photos, tel. no. and tell me something about yourself. Thank you.
 
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Dear HK Princess,

I can confirm that I am Caucasian but at this stage I can not confirm my DD status. The doctor has informed me that various samples need to be sent to specialists in Europe. My dependence became somewhat of a study in the field some years ago and some of my tissue matter remains in medical circulation to this day. The only drug pumping through my veins now though is…love…love and some prescribed barbiturates, sedatives and trial medications. By the way, I have started the preparations for our beautiful marriage and soon our family will be complete. I can’t wait to have a baby so that I can play with it. Also, yes…oh yes…you better believe I am ready to issue you with black level credit cards, membership cards of all kinds and more toys than you could poke a chopstick at my little dim sum. What’s mine will be yours…including all of my net worth. I promise to always do what you want quickly. If our chemistry ever fails I will have my doctor change the dosage and ratio of my pills and injections until the balance is right…and yes my love…I respect and appreciate a woman’s values by being with myself. I really do.

Addicted to you,

Prince Charming

I’m in love with you….are urine love with me??

Happy Valentine’s Day baby…plenty more where this came from

Brad Pitt’s shit

Seeking More Than Just A Man
 
Some guys talk blah blah blah, I was laughing at their la la la. I could not see and find Hong Kong where has decent and good man, if you are just looking for free sex here then you should move into the red night area. I hope you are a special and great Caucasian gentleman who has more than something to give. You can be very gentle, very nice and caring for just one woman, not different women. I just can’t believe that those Caucasian men in HK who thought that they are better than Brad Pitt, Matt Demon, etc. whom very good, rich and good looking men. I wish one can be found on this site and you are reading my words then smile and deserve me with no B.S. I hope you can write back with a real profile, your photos, contact no.. I wish I can meet someone great who is more than just a man. I do not deserve to meet a pig who mess up different women life.
 
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Dear I Was Laughing At Their La La La,

Please don’t leave me alone in the red night. I am a great Caucasian. I have more than something to give to you, you better believe it. And I am not fit to clean Brad Pitt’s toilet bowl, that is the truth. I am also…more than a man…much more. My home planet is called Sindilician. Maybe you have heard of it. I am 4 thousand years old. I am hairless and limbless. 5’9, 400 pounds. My profile is real. Pigs have nothing on me. I’ve come a long way just to find you…please respond…

Straight Shooter

I sure wouldn’t mind cutting this little filly from the herd. Hoooo weeeee!

Let share the happy moment…
 
Hi there… A few lines about myself, Chinese girl, early 30s, above average in all aspects. Been relocating and working in this city for a few years. I truly love HK, fabulous city, great food, friendly people, dynamic atmosphere…I work hard, also play hard, enjoy hanging out with friends and also meeting new people. Wonderful life, but missing that special someone to share the happy moment with. When i am with friends or alone, I always wonder where is that person waiting for me. Hope my fate will lead me to that person. Drop me a line and let see…
 
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Dear Above Average In All Respects Chinese Girl,

Well hello there. You truly love Hong Kong…and you believe the people are friendly? Me too. You work hard and play hard? I don’t believe it…me too. Stop wondering my love. Let’s share our entire lives together and maybe if we are lucky the happy moment will last for a full minute.

Dudley Dawson

I want your wad baby

Are there really not any well educated Black gentlemen in Hong Kong?
 
Hi there, I am Hong Kong Chinese but have lived abroad for some time. Not the conventional Chinese you meet. I’m attractive, tall, slim, well educated, smart, fun, Westernised, caring, loving, classy, elegant and yet down-to-earth. I have a great dress sense, carry myself and clothes well and can definitely carry a conversation. Into hiking, travelling, movies/DVDs, classical music, jazz, the arts, theatre, cycling, the sun and the beach, and watching football/tennis/rugby. Looking for a well educated Black gentleman to hang out with and enjoy HK.
 
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Dear Not The Conventional Chinese,

I’m as black as the ace of spades. Blacker than coal. Pitch black.

Am I turning you on?

Barry

Mummy’s training me how to be a gold digger too

Being specific
 
I’m a 35-year-old Asian woman living and working in HK and looking for a 45-year-old man (born in 1966) who is either divorced or a widower. I guess that’s specific enough…
 
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Dear Specific,

Hi. I was born in 1966 and my wife is dead. Let’s have dinner.

Yours truly,

Clickety Click

I love you money…I mean honey…

In search of love
 
I may be a bit old (in my early 40s) but I am not wise. I maybe strong, but I am fragile. I am just a local Chinese woman in her early 40s, looking for someone who will wrap me in his arms when I am feeling vulnerable. I don’t look for riches or Gucci bags. I look for someone I can count on, someone I know who will always love me even if one day the world shall turn against me. In return, I will be paddling like mad under the water to have your back when you are down, cherish every second I get to spend with you. Does anyone still want that kind of love?
 
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Dear Love Searcher,

I am in my 40’s and lack intelligence. My arms are like two huge old blankets and I’ve always hated Gucci bags. Stop paddling you poor old duck. If I’m face down in the water, you can climb on my back any time. Together, let’s take on the world.

Drowning in your love,

Jeff

Bingo

I should just clarify that when I said I can feel the love in Hong Kong…what I meant to say is that I noticed an increase in the speed and distance from which Hong Kong motorists accelerate in your direction when you cross the street. They just want human contact.

Good night everybody

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15 Responses to Desperately Seeking…your credit card…

  1. John says:

    loved every single bit of it. GOLDDIGGERS….

  2. John says:

    one more thing…you seem to have a nack of finding the right pictures for all your articles. what search engine do you use??

  3. Is that a trick question? Google images….or damninghkpictures.com…pretty good site

  4. Mic says:

    Been here for 9 years. Your blog is dead on about the negative aspects of everything you write about lol.

  5. F*ck this place says:

    I find about 99% of local women very unattractive and that’s even before they open their rice holes and start bitching about money. How HK ‘men’ stand it is one of the many mysteries of this place. No wonder so many of them try to shag their maids, or frequent mainland whores. I see white dudes with local wives and just immediately assume they are freaks into being dominated, poor bastards.

  6. anon says:

    I am so very glad to have found this blog. You are so right about everything you write about. This place just plainly sucks.

  7. Javed says:

    I spent several nights w/ the woman who wrote the first two ads (same woman). I think she is mentally ill, honestly, so not a good representation of HK women (though perhaps the way her illness manifests itself does display some of the local cultural (bad) traits).

  8. Mentally ill? I think that’s a great representation of HK women…throw in loud, vacuous and ignorant and you’ve painted the perfect picture

  9. Anonymous says:

    HK women men ratio is 2:1. HK women actually can’t find enough local men to marry.

  10. Pingback: The Hong Kong experience - One Big Dream

  11. Nick Morgan says:

    wow you are one bitter and twisted individual…

  12. Anonymous says:

    Stumblin’ upon your blog is the highlight of my week. You’re hilarious!

  13. xoxojennifer says:

    this is hilarious. I loved the every single word of your blog! 🙂

  14. Anonymous says:

    Well, you all fitting your fucking insults into a sentence is hilarious for me. Fucking shut the shit up and be poor slaves in your own fucking shitty countries.

  15. Le vent se lève il faut tenter de vivre says:

    seems like the fucked up DD free Ho is at it again :

    http://hongkong.craigslist.hk/w4m/4898104357.html

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