The Fairwood Feedbag

2011 AGM Chairman Report

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The Fairwood Feedbag chain has been speed feeding exhausted but fast moving Hong Kongers since the first site opened in beautiful downtown Tsuen Wan in 1972. There’s now more than 100 locations littered around Hong Kong where more than 100, 000 people a day rush in, strap on a feedbag and scurry off. We rank up there with the likes of other heavy hitters in the feedbag industry such as the stupendous, Cafe de Coral.

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In and out in 6 minutes

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Like Cafe de Coral, the Fairwood Feedbag stocks each location with daily loads of frozen and semi-frozen goop, trucked in from our own food processing plants. These processing plants ensure prices are low and goop is consistent. 2011 has surpassed our expectations in cheapness and consistency.

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Goop delivery

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Dishes are seasonal and there are more than 200 of them in rotation throughout the year. Currently, the Fairwood Feedbag offers what we call ‘the mountain of mystery goop with a cracked egg on top‘ dish. It looks as good as it sounds and it tastes as good as it looks. It’s the kind of rotational crowd pleaser that keeps customers coming back day, after day…after day. Congratulations to the research & development department. Your work with sugar, oil, processed ham and grease is truly inspiring.

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the mountain of mystery goop with a cracked egg on top dish...no added msg unless you ask for it

Service so fast it'll be in your toilet bowl before you can say 'I think I feel sick'

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Eating at the Fairwood Feedbag is (like Hong Kong) fast, easy and cheap. The average ‘dine in’ consumer can be in and out in less than 6 minutes. That’s not bad for dishes that are, on paper, supposed to be a full step up the rung from the kind of mush that goop giant, MacDonald’s, sell. The Fairwood Feedbag more or less tries to offer real meals as opposed to pure junk. I am pleased to report that the challenge of providing a real meal has not effected the speediness of our service this year at all. Customers are still enjoying service so fast they don’t have time to reconsider. We can thank our state of the art microwave ovens and defrosting time speed records for this.

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Signature dish...elbow macaroni, processed ham strips & some kind of liquid...breakfast for thousands and thousands of Hong Kongers

Breakfast special...chicken steak floating in a bowl of msg

It looks like filthy, disgusting dish water...but don't be fooled...it is filthy, disgusting dish water. That's where all the taste is.

Best processed ham, fried egg & 2 minute noodle combo in the city.

Kick-start your day with a chicken steak, ham square and gravy combo.

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Hunger’s a turkey shoot in Hong Kong. Busy, driven and whipped Hong Kong people on the move are not inclined to prepare food for themselves. We must remind ourselves to be thankful of that. Because…if we do our part and keep coal face employee wages low, promotion limited, food preparation methods fast & basic and ingredients cheap, consistent and full of short term satisfaction and now gratification…we can really cash in.

Here’s to 2012.

Dennis Lo

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It's what you want.

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This post brought to you by fish with garnishing covering their privates floating in a plate of their own blood..............mmm mmm!!

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10 Responses to The Fairwood Feedbag

  1. Solo says:

    nice post. ha ha ha.

    Dudley, what do you think of Stanley? I’ve been looking online, and supposedly it’s more quiet and peaceful as a place to live.

  2. It’s alright…it could be expensive living out there though

  3. Cletus says:

    Best caption ever: Service so fast it’ll be in your toilet bowl before you can say ‘I think I feel sick’

    So unbelievably accurate!

  4. K-man says:

    Fantastic…. you captured it in all its technicolor glory. Well done my friend well done….

  5. Anonymous says:

    You wouldn’t feel like that if you were a HK Fairwood helper…

  6. Anonymous says:

    In and out in 6 minutes..just like the food!!

  7. Anonymous says:

    Why r u even in HK if u hate it that much?

  8. Pingback: Hong Kong is not fast-paced in any recognizable sense AFAICT, so why does everyone say that it is? - Hong Kong GeoExpat

  9. To spread the good word about Hong Kong and how great it is!!! Yay!!!!

  10. Martial arts is bogus says:

    What repulsive ‘food’!
    When I dine I seek places with non-Chinese waiting staff, any other nationality will do. To many times panicking, incompetent Chinese staff make dining a chore…wrong orders, missed orders, no knowledge of the menu, dreadful English…fuck wits.
    Worse are Chinese restaurants where you can encounter bossy Chinamen hired as the Manager. Pompous half witted – and often buck toothed – fools.

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