Mobile Phone Madness

If I could point the finger at one aspect of Hong Kong that has haunted my time here I’d point it right at the back of this guy’s head. I’d single him out as the epitome of everything that sucks about Hong Kong…and he’s not even a 10 in the grand scheme of things. In terms of sheer bluntness of character this guy is only about a 6. There’s much worse than him. Still, with his phone glued to his ear and his vocal cords well and truly loosened, he makes for a pretty good example as he effortlessly roars over the top of every single other loud person on the train, the mechanically powerful sounds of the train itself, the wooshing and whirring of the train air-conditioning system, the amplified train announcements…and the limitations of my feebly low-fi mobile phone recording capabilities. An awesome display.


What is the obsession with mobile phones? Why are people so dedicated to conquering difficult chatting conditions on trains and buses? Any thought for giving the phone a rest while you’re on a train or bus with other commuters who may not want to listen to you bellowing over the top of screeching rail, fierce engines, dominant air-conditioners, on-board television, next stop announcements, other like-minded phone buffoons and a general cacophony of snoring, burping, hocking, sighing, yawning, yelling, ring-tone repeating, video game playing madness? Do you have to make 8 calls in 20 minutes…and conduct your conversation in a way that sounds like the entire bus deserves to hear what you’ve got to say to someone we can’t see, don’t want to see and would probably hate as much as we hate you if we did see? The answer of course is, yes. Yes. In Hong Kong, mobile phone conversations on public transport must be carried out with extreme prejudice to all those around you. Probably because they’d do the same to you. And they would. So, around we go…round and round in this vicious game of I don’t give a fuck about you…I’ll do whatever I want, wherever I want…whenever I want…

…and they do.



Seems that the Tsuen Wan line is ‘farm tractor’ noisy…due to poor soundproofing. Sadly for commuters, this makes it hard for them to talk on their mobile phones…particularly around Kwai Hing station where noise levels can reach 98 decibels.

I completely agree that the ‘noise problem’ is disturbing. It’s fucking disturbing…but it’s nothing to do with poorly lubricated tracks or bad soundproofing or substandard compartments. It’s everything to do with the fact that Hong Kong people scream in all ambient conditions: noisy, quiet or anything in between. I would rather sit and listen to air rushing through poorly soundproofed carriages and steel wheels grinding on tracks than listen to Mr Fucking Wong and his boorishly loud phone call. Does anyone really believe that a Hong Kong mobile phone tragic would ever allow noisy train conditions to stop him or her from shouting as loud as is humanely possible on the phone in public? Not a fucking chance. The article opens like this…

…’aural respite’? The MTR is going to take away the only thing which could possibly fight to drown out ridiculously loud mobile phone enthusiasts…and expect there to be aural respite? They must mean relatively speaking only. Take away the train noise and all you’d have left is Mr Wong. That’s a terrible step backwards. There are no quiet trains in Hong Kong.

The World Health Organization’s right. Fuck the Tsuen Wan line and it’s alleged soundproofing related noise issues. The real issue is the guy in the video above and the thousands of others just like him. Hong Kong should forget about its consumer friendly, politically friendly recycling programs and water, land and air pollution awareness campaigns and train soundproofing schemes. It should launch a new campaign and its slogan should be:



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21 Responses to Mobile Phone Madness

  1. K-man says:

    I find it sad that you picked on this poor chap… all he wanted to do was share with the world that he finally got rid of the crabs, lanced the seven boils on his left testicle and medical report that came back told him the prostitute he nailed last week didn’t give him herpes so he doesn’t have to tell his wife that he fucked someone, in the seedy underbelly of Wanchai, while she was away on that conference… Also, the lump that he thought was breast cancer was actually a marshmallow. I don’t know about you, but I think that is news that EVERYONE needs to know. I would be screaming that out to the world as well… What a cunt!

  2. Haha…I’m sure his conversation was along those lines 😉

  3. G-man says:

    yep, those useless conniving ugly moronic fuck everyone cunts know as the cheating, filthy, arrogant, chinese. fuck i hate nearly everyone of them!

  4. SACC says:

    You are so rite… good bless you

  5. Truly didactic report pal. Guess I better get used to that as soon as I move to HK. haha

  6. K-man says:

    I think it should actually be 98.6 decibels… isn’t there some jackass chattering away, like a rhino in heat, on his phone in the background of that photo….

  7. …some jackasseS probably…my first tactic to combat loud people on public transport here was to listen to a loud mp3 player…to drown it all out…but that backfired. You just can’t listen to an mp3 player that loud for that long. So what do you do? Public transport is efficient and all that…hurray…but it’s fucking painful.

  8. K-man says:

    There is always the Mr. Bean approach… chewing gum in the ears… or ideally, get the MTR corporation to actually block the use of phones just like they do in movie theatres… However, since those two options are not all that feasible… I will support your ‘Shut The Fuck Up’ campaign.

  9. Chinksta says:

    Fucking Hong Kong Cantonese, Hope that they all get deaf and brain cancer from speaking on their mobile phones. These fucking chinks (lower case because they don’t deserver my respect) have had 100 years of british colonial rule but most cannot even construct a simple sentence in english. Fuck their arrogance. These racist chinks deserve to die in Manila. Fuck, more of them need to die because Hong Kong is so overpopulated. They are so superior to any other Chinese in the world. Learn some english then talk fucking Hong Kong Chinks. They stink of garlic and stale fish all of the time. Fuck Cantonese the bastard fucking language of HK that makes more noise pollution than any other source.

  10. Michele says:

    If you hate it so much, get away from HK. It belongs more to the chinese people than the expats.Though I agree with the mobile phone talking on the MTR, this is not particular to HK, it’s everywhere in the world really.

  11. HK belongs more to Chinese people than expats? No shit??

    Yelling in Cantonese is ah…pretty particular to Hong Kong…

  12. Cletus says:

    @ Michele: Offensive mobile phone talking certainly IS particular to Hong Kong (and the mainland, but no one’s going there…). This sort of ‘Me first’ or ‘Only MY conversation matters’ attitude is ABSOLUTELY PARTICULAR to Hong Kong. Go anywhere else in Asia, and the problem does NOT exist. You DO NOT see that level of disrespect/obliviousness from the citizens of most other Asian or Western countries. Japan? You’d be shunned from society for behaving like such an animal in public. Korea? Rolling eyes and disgusted looks would be shot your way for being such an asshole. Southeast Asia? Arrogant tourist! The West? You would get fucking OWNED for that sort of behavior! The whole train or bus’ passengers would team up and scream “Shut the fuck up!” to you in unison, and throw your arrogant ass out if you didn’t comply. There is something called ‘common courtesy’ that we display towards each other. This does NOT exist in Hong Kong. In case you don’t know what I mean (and it is almost a certainty that you don’t) this means that when we travel with others in public transport, or when we are in a restaurant, or in the workplace, or anywhere else where you are around others, we behave in a COURTEOUS manner. We actually control the level of our voices so as not to bother others. We set our mobile phones to ‘silent’, and if we really have to, we’ll whisper a conversation if we are in public. We actually look where we are walking so as not to bump into others. If we are so unfortunate as to bump into someone, we apologize and ask if they are OK. If we enter a building, we pause and look behind us to see if there someone there to hold the door open for before we let it slam shut. Get it? COURTESY! Sounds awesome, right? Guess what? It IS awesome! Unfortunately, this trend has not caught on in HK. No where in the civilized world would such arrogance, blatant disregard for others, disrespect, and obliviousness be tolerated. If you dared to boom on your phone while you were next to me in my own country, I would verbally warn you to STFU, and when you didn’t comply I would pull your shirt over your head, punch you in the stomach, and then give you a huge fucking leg-kick. TAKE THAT YOU SELFISH PRICK! KNOW YOUR ROLE!!!

  13. gowron says:

    Well let’s just be glad that he’s in for some severe pus like aneurysm bleeding… Goddamn it it’s 1:00 in the fucking morning and some stupid pau-pau is growling to her mumbling toddler (you know the type that can’t form cantonese words so it sounds like memmemmemeummmm). Anyways cell phones, tumors, back on topic. This growling beast on the train, is in for a nice tumor. Karma is a bitch. Either that or he’s of the mentally ill catagory, those types that wander Hong Kong, with dried up old phones that are crumbling to dust, made in the 90s, and still trying to carry on ancient conversation, right before he lost it all, in some bad deal and went into shock. With his wife leaving him and immergrating to the states or some place lol.

  14. Anonymous says:

    sadly i just want to tell you know most of these videos pictures shown in this blog only show a mainlander how he/she has ruined the image of hongkong. end of the story, get a brain btw.

  15. Anonymous says:

    from what you have said obviously shows that you know nothing about HONGKONG. In hongkong majority of people have less than 1 second to waste in their life to earn a living, unlike white people who sit back at home and gets paid. I’m from hongkong and i live in melbourne, i see, i know and i experience it too much. I have to admit that some hongkong people might not know manners, the fact that they have to face so much pressure everyday, as compared to white people, wtf do they ever do? once its 5pm they fuck off and go home, what do they ever worry about in their life? completely nothing, in hongkong most people have to work pass 6.

  16. K-man says:


    Typical of a Hong Kong born person… and yes, I am probably stereotyping… (big word for your limited English skills I know… look it up). Yes Hong Kong folk are pressed for time… that is cause they are idiots…. You complain about the ‘white man’ who leaves at 5pm… guess what, we finish our work during office hours, we don’t take a 2 hour lunch to hang out with the boss. We don’t stay past 6 only to what… save face and make it look like we are working just as hard as the boss man. Every single Hong Kong person I have worked with (in 10 years) who believes in your fucked up saving face mentality ends up playing games on Facebook until their boss leaves just to drive home the point of how ‘hard they work’. So you know what… maybe you should take a look at the society you seem to regard so well and then, once you have done that, kick yourself in the ass, and try to find a way to make it so you are more efficient, more productive and can go home to your families and try to raise your kids so that they can grow up in a society that isn’t as fucked up as Hong Kong is now… maybe then there will be some hope.

    Also… Nice of you to blame the mainlanders for all the problems… they did that in America too… except they blamed the black community. Step up and own up to the shit that you born and raised Hong Kong folk do, and find a better way… then try to talk. For a start… take a look at how the average maid is treated in this ‘Global City’…

    One more thing… you are in Australia now… so apparently you didn’t like what you saw here in your homeland… so I have nine words for you… Fuck you and your idealistic view of this city.

    PS… If you are going to attack the OPINIONS on an English blog and of an English writer in English… learn the fucking language your troll.

  17. K-man says:

    @Anonymous, Grammar Lesson One: find the mistakes in my above post… then and only then will I actually consider your opinions as valid.

  18. chino says:

    EVEN here in manila the chinese who come form HK are the always yelling into their celphones like they are always fighting with someone on the other line , the HKers complain about the bad manners of the main anders but don’t realize that they are so much more guilty of being uncouth then their COUNTRY BUMPKIN COUSINES – at least the mainlanders ave an “excuse” to be rude while the HKers claim that they are more “educated”..Bullshit you both are a fucking rude and crass race only concerned with money

  19. lordous says:

    haha i remember a brit telling me the only thing he lkes about HK are the filipina maids because when he gets lost all he has to do is to approach a filipina and ask “where is so and so ” and they will tell him with a friendly smile where he needs to go..he says he never asks HK people anymore because they dont speak english and if they do they are sooooo rude.

  20. Anonymous says:

    K-Man has really hit the nail on the head. I have only worked here for about 5 months and I’m stunned at the lack of efficiency in the workplace. How can so many people “work” so hard and yet produce so little? And I get dirty looks for going home at 6:30 when quitting time is 6? Fuck that noise. Never mind that the locals stay late to play on Facebook. As far as English. Yes, I know that this is a “Chinese” place but if the people are old enough to remember when the British were here, you’d think they could speak enough English to give directions, or maybe answer a question in a bank or store without totally confusing the fuck out of a foreigner.

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