Nathan Road: Attack of the Scumbags

To cut a long story short…was in TST taking some snaps of Nathan Road when surprise, surprise some scumbag wonders whether I’d like a copy watch/ suit/ handbag/ tour of his shop/ something else sir?/ white laundry powder/ crushed sugar/ hash…’no thanks’ I say several times as we walk shoulder to shoulder for 10 meters or so. He’s my best buddy!

Scumbag 1

‘How about a picture?’ I ask with a grin and I aim my camera at his face. He darts into the crowd with his hand over his face like I aimed a huge silver handgun at his head. I put my camera down and he emerges out of the crowd full of abuse…’I smash your camera mother fucker…I bash you mother fucker…mother fucker…I smash you camera mother fucker…’ One of his scumbag buddies comes to his side and I tell them I don’t want any trouble, I’m just here to take photos of Nathan Road hash pushing scumbags. (dramatization, may not have happened) Scumbag 2 launches himself at my face. He wants to smash my camera too…and to smash me. He’s short but feisty. ‘Fuck you mother fucker…get fucked mother fucker…fuck off mother fucker…fuck your mother mother fucker’ He’s in my face…loud…angry…teeth bared…crazy eyes.

Scumbag 2

Anyway…I don’t want my camera smashed so I walk on. I did manage to get some shots before and after the…unpleasantness.

Scumbag 1 & 2

Short but feisty

No hard feelings hey fellas and all the best with your…business enterprises.

And now…assorted scumbaggery:

Handbag full of resin sir?

Let's talk here...in the shade.

psst!

I've got the merchandise

Happy go lucky opportunists

Trust me

Nathan Road tour guides

Scanning the herd

Hong Kong: Live it! Love it!

Pardon me sir, you've gone and dropped your wallet.

It's a long way to the top if you wanna hawk on Nathan Road

These guys make the local camera shop staff seem like saints

Not hustlers

Don't do it!

Cruising through the chum

The Nathan Road

Well…I won’t tar all the scumbags with one brush. Most of them laughed me off when I asked them if they wanted their photo taken. ‘You want something from me? How about a picture?…Now I want something from you.’

‘Oh no I couldn’t possibly let you take my picture sir…for my business enterprise isn’t exactly above board, you see!’

No worries.

It was only those two scumbags who threatened to smash and bash me. They must have been having a bad day. I doubt they’d have anything to hide or anything shady simmering behind those dull, deceitful eyes. Still, when you recoil away from a camera and dart off into the safety of the crowd like a wanted felon…well…it looks a little…odd. Doesn’t mater though. It’s all just a bit of fun, right fellas?!

….except if I get sued/ killed somehow for being slanderous. So this post will be deleted soon.

…though I seriously doubt I could do much to further tarnish the image they already project on their own…

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15 Responses to Nathan Road: Attack of the Scumbags

  1. m says:

    This sounds great, I can hardly wait 🙂

  2. m says:

    This was worth the wait – they look like quality dudes.

    BUT, at least they’re mostly waiting on the side of the walkway, so as not to totally impede flow. Unlike the silly woman with the huge blue/yellow shopping cart in the 2nd to last shot, who seems to have decided to have a dog-show in the middle of the pavement. Impromptu pavement blocking parties are standard fare in HK. Try this – go to the busiest pavement you can find – then suddenly stop dead. As people screech to a halt and then weave around behind you, pull out your phone, and repeatedly execute a figure-8 holding pattern in the middle of the pavement, all the time yelling “WEI! WEI” into your phone. No-one will bat an eyelid.

    I’m currently looking for a high quality recording of a cantonese or mainland fishwife yelling “WEI! WEI!” to use as my ringtone.

    Did somebody mention mainlanders?

  3. These scumbags have changed my attitude to your average Hong Konger. I’ve seen a lot of crazy shit in HK…but that encounter was creepy and unnerving. They make HK people seem like sweet angelic saints.

  4. That video is awesome btw

  5. m says:

    “These scumbags have changed my attitude to your average Hong Konger. ”

    Yes. I spent nearly a decade in third-world asia, where things can turn genuinely nasty (life threatening) very quickly. Hong Kong is actually a welcome escape from all that sort of lowlife shit.

    Except now they’re coming over here in droves, it seems 🙂

  6. Yeah. First time I’ve seen that kind of dark side from those Nathan Road hawkers. I had my camera and it was a quick deterrent. Usually they badger and badger you. The camera makes them shy away pretty fast. Wonder why!?

  7. Iago says:

    ‘I’m currently looking for a high quality recording of a cantonese or mainland fishwife yelling “WEI! WEI!” to use as my ringtone.’

    Shit that would make me laugh.

  8. Bjoern says:

    great website, keep on the good work.
    btw, one scumbag in New Delhi told me he did not want to be pictured “due to religious reasons”, that was hilarious

  9. Haha…hiding behind some god or other…pathetic!

  10. Whisky says:

    Ha!!!!!!!what a wonderful world god save HK pls

  11. hongkrap says:

    When was there like you dudley they ask me for everything , girls, watchs, fucking suits
    and i said NO no no , this fuckers defitinely dont agree with this world , especially if you are caucasian, they loved to arass you….
    and after they seems to be offensed with innocent faces when you yell at them…

  12. 15wongnh1 says:

    And this is why no local goes there anymore.

    Annoying shits.

  13. alain says:

    That whole area is full of trash, heroin dealers, ice users, scammers, bottom feeders,the whole gamut of deadbeats, losers and people on the make.

    Quite why the HK police don’t just move them along, and enforce the laws daily there I will never understand. Police presence=no scumbags, surely?

  14. They’re all probably pushing drugs for the local HK Mafia anyway. And as everybody knows, police and law enforcement go together with corruption and crime like potatoes and gravy.

  15. Anonymous says:

    Whatever truth there may be in this article, I’d far rather read withering take-downs of the horrific locals and buffoonish cretins from the Mainland. There are plenty of non-Chinese doing their part to make this city a hellhole but let’s focus here. Hey, I ain’t gonna go to Hades and complain about the worms under my feet when there are devils poking my ass with pitchforks every minute of the day.

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