Welcome to Hong Kong Sucks!
My aim is to unleash a completely biased series of attacks, appraisals, slurs, observations and well…basically the comedy of pure rage towards this joke of a city.
My underlying thesis: that Hong Kong sucks because it’s a traumatized, schizophrenic, soulless, identityless city that was stolen by greedy, spineless, soulless, morally bereft opium pushing British devoids over 150 years ago and has been used and abused like a dirty whore ever since.
If you’ve ever lived here for more than about…a 3 day/ 3 night package holiday then you know there’s a lot to hate about this road-kill eating, chatting means screaming, elevator barging, train door shoving, mobile phone abusing, food spitting, bone chewing, snaggle toothed, loud, microphone addicted, hopelessly polluted, rude, selfish, disgusting excuse for a civilized society.
So without further ado, let’s meet one of the locals.
This is the ‘screaming woman’. Almost every morning anywhere from 7am right through to 10:30-11am this considerate individual enjoys hanging out in the park and screaming her lungs out as loud as she can. Watch:
Now a lot of people have told me they think it’s a bird. Wrong. There’s no birds big enough or selfish enough in Hong Kong to make that kind of prolonged obscene screeching sound. It’s just a garden variety Hong Kong local – oblivious to others, doing what she wants, where she wants, when she wants.
(Reminds me of a story I heard about a family of mainland Chinese tourists doing what they want, where they want, when they want – leaving special ‘brown presents’ in plastic bags on fitting room floors…but that’s a story for later)
I haven’t spotted the woman yet with my own eyes…but she’s down there somewhere…in the trees. Maybe I should feel sorry for her. She sure sounds crazy – maybe in need of serious help. Maybe she’s got an old school ‘primal therapy’ doctor advising her to seek nature and let it all out. Since there is pretty much no nature in Hong Kong, just filthy concrete, the park will have to do. Anyway, I don’t feel sorry for her and I don’t understand her. She’s been screeching in the park for a year now…I wish she’d move away or die because I know there’s no chance she’s ever going to stop and think…’hey wait a minute…maybe my obscene wailing isn’t what people enjoy hearing at 7:15am on Sunday morning, what was I thinking!?’
So, that’s the first post…it’s all downhill from here…