Why does Hong Kong suck?

Welcome to Hong Kong Sucks!

My aim is to unleash a completely biased series of attacks, appraisals, slurs, observations and well…basically the comedy of pure rage towards this joke of a city.

My underlying thesis: that Hong Kong sucks because it’s a traumatized, schizophrenic, soulless, identityless city that was stolen by greedy, spineless, soulless, morally bereft  opium pushing British devoids over 150 years ago and has been used and abused like a dirty whore ever since.

If you’ve ever lived here for more than about…a 3 day/ 3 night package holiday then you know there’s a lot to hate about this road-kill eating, chatting means screaming, elevator barging, train door shoving, mobile phone abusing, food spitting, bone chewing, snaggle toothed, loud, microphone addicted, hopelessly polluted, rude, selfish, disgusting excuse for a civilized society.

So without further ado, let’s meet one of the locals.

This is the ‘screaming woman’. Almost every morning anywhere from 7am right through to 10:30-11am this considerate individual enjoys hanging out in the park and screaming her lungs out as loud as she can. Watch:

.

Now a lot of people have told me they think it’s a bird. Wrong. There’s no birds big enough or selfish enough in Hong Kong to make that kind of prolonged obscene screeching sound. It’s just a garden variety Hong Kong local – oblivious to others, doing what she wants, where she wants, when she wants.

(Reminds me of a story I heard about a family of mainland Chinese tourists doing what they want, where they want, when they want – leaving special ‘brown presents’ in plastic bags on fitting room floors…but that’s a story for later)

I haven’t spotted the woman yet with my own eyes…but she’s down there somewhere…in the trees. Maybe I should feel sorry for her. She sure sounds crazy – maybe in need of serious help. Maybe she’s got an old school ‘primal therapy’ doctor advising her to seek nature and let it all out. Since there is pretty much no nature in Hong Kong, just filthy concrete, the park will have to do. Anyway, I don’t feel sorry for her and I don’t understand her. She’s been screeching in the park for a year now…I wish she’d move away or die because I know there’s no chance she’s ever going to stop and think…’hey wait a minute…maybe my obscene wailing isn’t what people enjoy hearing at 7:15am on Sunday morning, what was I thinking!?’

So, that’s the first post…it’s all downhill from here…

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44 Responses to Why does Hong Kong suck?

  1. john says:

    Sounds like she’s getting fucked everyday and lovin it

    at least the slanty eyed cunt giving it to her is getting some cum time

  2. I hadn’t thought about it like that. Makes it even worse.

  3. Lotus says:

    You must be a sad, sad little man my friend… living here in Hong Kong and just blasting it for what purpose? Like your home city is the ideal place to live… no rubbish on the floor there right? no traffic? No people in a hurry? No one talking on cell phones? No Pollution? People with perfect manners? You must be the upper class where you buy toilet paper by the single roll, and bulk is for the peasants. Talk about living in paradise… yet you left to come and bitch about Hong Kong.

    What are you sitting in your little flat, thinking to yourself… ‘I wonder how I can try to disgrace a country today?’

    When you go to a new country it is not up to them to make you happy… it is up to that country to make their people happy. Why should it all change for you? are you the centre of the universe, is your standard what the world should go by?

    Maybe you should open your eyes and instead of looking for the bad things, find the good that is in Hong Kong.

  4. When you sit in a room long enough and fart in it over and over again…you’re gonna get used to the smell. Doesn’t mean it’s good.

  5. gowron says:

    Am I watching a Porno?!?!?!?!?!??!!!!??!! what is this?

  6. Anonymous says:

    yup i agree with wt lotus says very much, it is not up to what a country can make you happi, it is up to what a country can make their own people happi.

    also, which “western country” u r from, the obscenely obesed countries like AMERICA n UK? or the Countries like Australia which was built from a prisoner civilization? i have been to those countries be4, none of them fit the criteria of being mannered, polite, decent, respectable, noble, ideal, freindly, pullution-free, cultural, intellectual, smart etc …. wt i saw were bunch of ugly chubby white-skinned pigs drinking a lot of alcohol and stabbing people to death every week.

  7. Anonymous says:

    I came across your blog and could not stop but think WHY DONT YOU JUST LEAVE? You hate it this much.

  8. You’re a genius

  9. ohiasia says:

    It’s a bit late to respond to Lotus (hey, just 17 months, right?) but what did he think a blog called “HK sucks” would be about exactly, the merits of HK?! Did he actually google something like “HK sucks” just so he can fuss at the author?

    Sure, the blog skews negative, but without that perspective the world would read like a sales brochure. Reality/negativity is needed to bring the big picture into focus. This blog is comic relief. (All comedy is “good-to-bad” or “bad-to-worse”. Think about it.) Someone having a bad time in HK might read this blog and actually feel better about their situation.

    As for the “if you don’t like it, leave” mentality, I’d hate to live in a world without questions, criticism, analysis, etc. Can you imagine if people simply “left” everything / everyone / everyplace they didn’t like?! Taking the negativity out of the world would leave a boring, boring planet. The author of this blog is keepin’ it real, and the posts are true to the title.

    To borrow from these haters’ own logic: if you don’t like the sentiment “HK sucks” then why not leave this blog?!

  10. timothy says:

    Fuck yeah, this conversation remind me of a discussion experience I had with the Chinese student.Two years ago, I went to mainland China and meet a bunch of college students ( it was kind of a exchange program shit like that ). We had a discussion which came,across a,series of things. But When it came to politic, I was sort of asking why that the Communist government gave not any sort of Democratic election to it’s citizen. Guess what were their,answer? —–Yes you are right., Chinese student: If you hate this country so much,why don’t you just leave for the USA licking their white ass and beg for a green card. I was,like “WTF?” I mean these people are absolutely not open to any criticism. Face saving is more important than anything.

  11. Eric says:

    THANK YOU FOR THIS BLOG! I am required by my employer to spend 4-5 days per month in Hong Kong (Nathan Road to be specific) and your blog is incredibly spot on. Like you, I find the city absolutely disgusting and the people just RUDE. I found the section about the scumbag “tailors”/watch hawkers on Nathan Road especially poignant. Keep up the good work, I had many hearty chuckles as I read the whole thing. America has its problems but there’s nothing like a few days in Hong Kong to make you appreciate the virtues of home.

  12. LoveItOrShutUp says:

    I lived in HK for 3.5 years. I’ve seen worse than you mentioned here but NEVER complained about it. After all, I made money there, those people fed my family.
    Anyway, the first thing I thought is ‘what kind of job this guy is doing in HK? How can he find so much time to record and post all these things? I wish I had this guy’s job.’ I live in the US, and I agree with those who says ‘love it or leave it’ You don’t have to stay there. You are pathetic. And what you’re doing here is not ethic. I didn’t love your comments and blog, I will leave it. So easy, just like that. YOU SUCK!

  13. It’s just a bit of fun…don’t take it so seriously…you stupid fuck!

  14. Anonymous says:

    Where the hell r u from and what do you expect a random city in Asia to be like. What’s wrong with having many different choices of toilet paper brands in the supermarket? If you really are someone who is living or lived in HK, you should know that those peeing everywhere stuff are done by the mainlaind people from China, not HK citizens. Oh yeah, they r super rude, like you complaining with a bunch of FUCKs and SHITs and sarcastic jokes.
    Go develop your own city, where you can have perfect weather (u r God) everyday, everyone being so nice and polite (excluding u urself), having the hair colour and skin colour that u’d like them to have, and doing everything that u’d like them to do (robots).
    a bit of fun? don’t take it seriously? stupid fuck?
    hey then why the heck did u post all these and google all the news and videos (i bet u spent so much time), HK citizens also dislike some of those things u know? HK is so packed, all the people living here complain about this. If you weren’t serious, u’d like to try not posting those things at the very first place, to avoid people from considering u as a badass.

  15. I’ll tell you why I posted ‘all these’…it’s so I can watch people like you get angry and fumble for a comprehensible reply.

  16. hongkrap says:

    Dudley i agreed with you
    HK sucks ive been there 3 days , enough to see how this country is a crap!
    No moral, modern slavery in the private and guest house, stink all over the city, incredibly hot during summer.
    I also meet hongkongese in my own city in france
    Was so pathetic to see how these people are narrow minded , no self critsism on the world, shitty taste of music .
    And their english are poor as fuck, for arrogant famous tutors it sucks!

  17. Leo B says:

    I’ve lived in Hong Kong for about 19 years now, and I have to say I agree with a lot of this, even if I sometimes try to deny it. And some of the way you phrase these things is so over the top I can’t stop laughing, so kudos for that. But I have to ask is this your real view of Hong Kong? I mean all cities have their faults and while HK has a lot (and I mean a lot of faults, did you see it was nominated the most racist city in the world?) do you not still like it even a little? I mean to me it’s where I grew up and for all of it’s faults I still very much do love Hong Kong, no matter how racist, ignorant, arrogant, selfish, bigoted and uptight the people are, because it’s home. And if your comments aren’t deliberately over the top and truly how you feel, why don’t you leave? I mean if you are able that is, I’m well aware there are people who wish to leave a place but can’t.

  18. You’ve answered your own question…yes the whole site is designed to be ‘over the top’. There’s some venom from time to time…but mostly it’s all a bit of a joke. HK’s alright.

  19. dwong says:

    lived there 6 years. the place blows. took my cash, left the shithole and returned to civilization.

  20. Anonymous says:

    Of course, obviously, Hong Kong, like a lot of cities, has its own problems. Ok, I’ve got to admit HK has more problems than other cities, but it doesn’t mean it’s the worst! I mean, I could write a book about how HK sucks, but also another book on how its really great! I have lived in HK all my life, and personally, I’ve had my own problems: I’m half HKese, half French: I had troubles fitting in by not knowing the local languange, which is cantonese. However, using my pitiful mandarin and my english, I still managed to survive! I know HK has a lot of (-) but, try not to only criticize the city: HK is like a big family: its a big community. I feel safer in HK than anywhere else in the world. Also, try to lean the history of this place: you’ll understand the racist feeling better (of course it’s really bulls*it because HK IS racist, but of my 24 years of experience, I have never seen a racial abuse, even in the most “crappiest” of districts: Kowloon City, Sham Shui Po, Kam Tin, North Point…

  21. End of Hk says:

    Hey, Anonymous! If you’re HKese, Just go regret yourself and simply reborn. There’s something terribly wrong with your whole DNA.

  22. Anonymous says:

    The Wall Street Journal has recently voted Hong Kong “The most livable city in the world”. I trust the Wall Street Journal over some crank blogger, probably an uptight yuppie or worse still, a fucking hipster.

  23. Anonymous says:

    Go back to Australia.

  24. End of HK says:

    Livable city? like Sao paulu?

  25. End of HK says:

    Hong kong is not only livable city. Also passional city. People get easily raged in every business and matters.

  26. End of HK says:

    Hong kong is livable city? Then, what was Kowloon walled city?

  27. End of HK says:

    I’m half HKese and half Taiwanese myself. My mother was Taiwanese. And my father was HKese. I lived my youth very rich. Wealth of our family was earned by father. But reason we were rich was maybe my mother. She always raised me and have all the things I want. Also her grandfamily were also rich too. But she ruined her life by merried with him. She couldn’t say anything about problems in business and matters. Also our family had a l0t of problems. Before the merriage, my father lived a life in violence, swindle, gamble in Macau. Thanks to my father, we always been related with Triads, always should have service of them. Unfortunately, my mother have already dead. I gonna fucked up from birth to present and I living my miserable life in here in Hong kong. I really miss my mother and her family. Love you mother!!! Long live in Taiwan!!!

  28. End of HK says:

    Sono mezzo HKese e mezzo taiwanese me. Mia madre era taiwanese. E mio padre era HKese. Ho vissuto lamia giovinezza molto ricco. La ricchezza della nostra famiglia e stato guadagnato dal padre. Ma la ragione eravamo ricchi forse era mia madre. Lei mi ha sempre sollevato e hanno tutte le cose che voglio. Anche lei grandfamily erano anche ricchi. Ma lei ha rovinato lavita da sposata con lui. Sua figlia ottenere violentatada un membro della triade. Il nostro ragazzo merda sempre trasudava sulla vita quotidiana della nostra famiglia. Prima del matrimonio, mio padre ha vissuto una vita di violenza, truffa, gioco d’azzardo a Macao. Grazie a mio padre, siamo sempre stati in relazione con triadi, sempre dovrebbero avere il servizio di loro. Purtroppo mia madre ha gia morta. Ha scopato fatto fino dalla nascitaad oggi e io vivere la mia vita miserabile in qui a Hong kong. Ti amo mamma!!!Viva in Taiwan!!!

  29. End of HK says:

    Everyone in here will think I’m stupid write this stereotypes to this dyslexia patients. LOL

  30. Ash says:

    for the dickheads (the all so brave HKer who can only talk some shit behind a screen) who keep asking WHY DONT YOU JUST LEAVE?! well….why dont you ask your uncle lee to leave the UK. he sits in chinatown all day long farting and blowing out his shit in his nose and complains. why dont HE leave? well….simple answer….you go to a country (not cuz you may think its better than your own) for travelling/longer term stay/experience and in the first few months you think….what is going on? then….after a few months you hear people (HK people) saying its just your bad luck. before you realise the truth….that this place is the utimate shithole. before then….you have bought a bunch of shit for your flat and have settled down and are STILL in hope that its just your bad luck and things will get better….so you give it ANOTHER chance. A year and half later….you realise you are fucked and stuck in this shithole….you have only just managed to find a legitimate employer who sorts out your MPF…etc. taxes…etc…etc. so what do you do now? you just got all your shit sorted……just get up and LEAVE? ask your filthy pig uncle lee this question before you ask us. shouldnt you be deep in your right nostril? go spend your time doing stuff that you usually do. this blog isnt for in-denial HK retards. what i would give to pound your face to the ground and step on it…..

  31. Tony says:

    I lived in Hong Kong during the eighties and early 90s. I remember the people were very over competitive, materialistic and racist.

    Singapore, Taiwan and Mainland China are much better places to live where the people are more down to earth, friendly and less money oriented.

  32. HK stands for Hongkongers (are) Kittenshit says:

    I just came across this blog (i started reading about the Park n Shop rant), n I’ve started reading it all from the beginning! I love it. I’ve been living in HK for two years now, n i hate every inch of it. So-called metropolitan city. All the HongKongers are so full of themselves. “If u r not happy, just leave”. That’s the only phrase they know. If you r so freaking capable, companies wont be hiring expats. Think about it. Your freaking country do not trust you!! Yeah, you! You idiot. Metropolitan city? Still using bamboo shafts to repair buildings??! Ohhh, so metropolitan… Pleaseeeeee lah. Thank God British handed over this piece of ahit land back to China. HK really deserved it. Deserved to be part of freakin China.

  33. 15wongnh1 says:

    I live in Hong Kong and I like it, sure, but I agree there are a lot of things that need improving.

  34. 15wongnh1 says:

    Oh, and I’m a local, not an expat.

  35. 15wongnh1 says:

    And Dawson, I like your sense of humor. Many locals actually find this hilarious.

  36. Anonymous says:

    People in / from Hong Kong especially women are so sly, rude, arrogant, selfish and greedy.

  37. HK mall island says:

    Lol a bit late to the party but I swear there is a similar woman in Chater garden in Central. She will do some yoga shit and then scream as loud as possible and do that for like an hour. I have to leave the place as her voice was horrible. Welcome to HK! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH

  38. Anonymous says:

    “End of HK on April 12, 2014 at 10:20 am
    Livable city? like Sao paulu?”

    It’s São Paulo. What f**k do you know about São Paulo? Probably the same as you know about the capital of Costa Rica. I tell about it. It’s a f**king scary place. People will kill you!!! The violence is beyond description. That’s the flip side. On the upside, some of the most humble, warm, helpful, selfless people you can meet. But tread on their toes and try to treat people like garbage with your selfish, arrogant, greedy attitude and you’re dead before you can say “aiyaaaaaaaa”.

    There are millions of foreigners there, including Asians. Namely, Japanese. The biggest Japanese colony outside Japan (probably over 1.5 million only in the metropolitan area). The younger generations are Brazilians and if you ask a Nippo-Brazilian chap/girl if he/she wants to return to the old Nippon, their answer will be a resounding “no f**king way”.

    Maybe if some of you rude, oblivious, obnoxious and selfish nitwits lived in some of the poor areas in the outskirts of São Paulo for, say 1 year, you’d learn how to be decent towards other people, or you’d simply become dead meat.

  39. HK Mall Island says:

    Anon – How do you want them to comment on going abroad, they only use tour to go outside of their countries. They’re so scared of being mugged they’re like small fishes swimming away from predators. Fuckers, everytime I hear, Eulop vely dangelous, fliend got storen many money. Yeah because you’re a fucking weak twat

  40. Anonymous says:

    Yeah HK Mall Island, I don’t expect them to comment on that because they don’t even know where São Paulo is. And the ones who have remotely heard about Brazil only vaguely know (or think) everyone is black, play football and dance carnival all year round. The violence bit is the fucking cliche they all know so well about “everything” on this planet, with the exception of this faggot named Gweilos suck, who tries to “cast light on the horrors of the west” with the command of a twat. I was just very amused at how a fucking dipshit who doesn’t even know how to wipe his ass properly attempts to a quote. Yes, São Paulo is a violent place, BUT… I can tell you, it can be millions light years more livable than this fuckhole and this disgraceful people. I have seen a lot of foreigners (mostly British) doing life saving voluntary work for the underprivileged children of São Paulo and Rio. Absolutely amazing to see the results and how a good heart, a bit of compassion and detachment from this shit crazy materialism we see mostly in China (specifically Hong Kong) can make life saving difference for the children and underprivileged people. Do you see ANY fucking Chinese doing this kind of work around the world? NO! Not a single one. All they can do is stuff their fucking asses with their shitty greasy “many delicious food”, complain, bicker and bitch about westerners, and try to get as much money as possible from any situation (and I mean ANY fucking situation).

  41. fuck off loser says:

    white people please just die , can’t stand you guy anymore, bunch of loser, ugly ,fat fargot , complaining like a bitch.
    Fuck back your shitty country as fast as possible, wait for isis to kill you all ,motherfucker piece of
    shit.

  42. Anonymous says:

    Did anybody see a troll flying passed?

  43. I love how many of these comments suggest you to “leave” instead of addressing the topic in question.
    I also love how Hong Kong-ers try to expand their own personal space and freedom to do whatever they want, but the minute you do something small you get the death stare o.O

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